Feel Against My Skin
by Kyla-22
Summary: I crave the feeling. I crave the pain. It feels so good, against my skin. My name is Bella Swan and as much as I try, nothing ever seems to work out my way... I am alone, but I am in love. Why does everyone always fall for the wrong person? Read and review !
1. Breakup

**REVIEW if you want me to continue this story. If i dont get enough reviews, i will not be posting more chapters on this story. **

**So this is just something I'm trying out! Wanted to see if I could do it, maybe it will turn into something more? This story contains lots of adult themes. And of course lemony goodness ;) Hope you like it. Also deals with drugs, cutting, depression, sex, language. Again ADULT THEMES! The characters do NOT belong to me. They belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyers. **

**Also I would like to say that I do not mean to offend anyone with anything that happens in this story. Anything that's said does not mean that I think that way, it's just made up! **

**Another note, before we start :P Sorry bout this folks. The song that Edward sings in this chapter. Is entirely original. Made it up on the spot, myself. I know its horrid and he would write songs soo much better, but I am not a professional. But if you like, please let me know :) **

**CHAPTER 1: Breakup.**

**BPOV**

"Fuck this shit! Fuck you, fuck everything we had! You want to fucking end it this way? GO AHEAD!" ugh I was pissed! I was screaming at my douche of a boyfriend. Well ex boyfriend now-Laurent. Ass wipe. He thinks he can come into my life, screw it up. Have sex with my cousin after a party and think I'm going to forgive him? LIKELY! I couldn't believe him.  
"Bella, baby! Please! I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I Promise!" he almost whined. I smirked. No. I wasn't going back to him; I wasn't giving him another chance.  
"Fuck you" I sneered and walked away.

Okay, so let me tell you about myself. I'm Bella Swan. A short 5 foot 3", small figure. Unnaturally pale, plain and boring. I've lived in this Plain town of Forks, Washington since I was born. Haven't moved away. Nothing. I live with my mother and father. Renee and Charlie. They split up for a while there. But then they got back together after that idiot of a guy Phil, broke my mom's heart. Of course, Charlie being the nice guy he is. Comforted her. I had been dating Laurent for two years, we were great together. Or so I thought. That is until one day he saw me looking at the school hottie. Edward Cullen. Gawd that guy is hot! But that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck him. I was just enjoying the view! After that, Laurent turned jealous and possessive. He wouldn't let me be alone. I wasn't going to cheat on him. I'm not like that. And even if I wanted to date Edward. He doesn't date. I don't know, he is very hot. But he just doesn't date. He doesn't want to settle down.

Another thing about me, I've been battling severe depression for two years. Started around the time Laurent and me got together. I just realized the coincidence. Except he doesn't give a shit. He always treated me like shit. Not caring weather I was upset. But back to the present day. I ran into the house balling. Thank gawd no one's home. Dads the police chief of Forks, mom works as a party planner. I had the house to myself. I ran up to my room slamming my door, even though no one's home. I run to my sock drawer. Searching frantically for what I need. I may seem tough and no one cares on the exterior. But it hurts. He hurts.

I loved him. Sighing in relief when I find what I need. I knew I shouldn't do this. But this was the only thing I could think of. My mom has caught me last time. She was terrified. Sent me to therapy, took away all my knifes. It was only one cut. One was now going to be two. I remember the feel of the knife on my skin. The physical pain to dull the mental pain. I needed that. This was like my drug. I didn't care if it was bad, I needed this. No one is going to love me anyways. I'm plain. Laurent proved that. Depression leads to a lot of things. This is where mines going.

I quickly clean the blade, not wanting to get it infected and slice. Screaming out in pain and dropping to the floor.  
"FUCK!" I screamed. Deeper then I meant. Hurts like a bitch. I run for the bathroom rinsing off my arm. Grabbing band-aids and gauss. I had my own bathroom adjoined to my room, and I was thankful for that. I quickly bandaged it up; cleaning up the mess I left on the floor. I felt better. My arm stung, but I could think through this pain. Fucking Laurent. He was my everything and now he would be the cause of my hell.

I started crying again, collapsing onto my bed. I didn't want this. I didn't want this. Why me? That's all I can think about. But all I care about is how much my arm hurts. Not my homework that has to be done for English tomorrow, not how I'm going to hide this from my mom. Just the pain. Just how I wanted it. I got up and went searching around my room. Pulling out a long sleeved top to wear tomorrow, and then going in search of my wallet. It was only three in the afternoon. The store would be opened. I guess it was time to invest in some wrist warmers….

***  
"Belllllaaa! Are you even paying attention to what I'm SAYING!" Alice whined in my ear. I groaned internally. Alice. Better known as my annoying best friend. Very pixie like, very hyper, very loud. Just about all the things I hated, but I loved her. Call me crazy.  
"Alice, leave her alone. She's obviously sick. Look at how pale she is!" Angela said, coming to my rescue. My other best friend. The sincere thoughtful one.  
"Oh my gawd! BELLA! Are you okay!" Alice yelled through my car window. They had come out to meet me at my car before school. I was working on my English. The English I never got done over the weekend.

"I'm fine, just tired. Didn't get much sleep after me and Laurent broke up yesterday" I explained. They both nodded. Knowing how much of a dick Laurent was.  
"Finally!" I exhaled. English was done. No need to worry anymore. I got out of my black Mustang and packed up my books. I had the nicest car in town. I'd also been saving up for it for years. Ever since my sixth birthday. I used my allowance at first to put into a big fund. Then when I started babysitting for people, and then when I started getting part time jobs. Let's just say all that little money adds up, so I had a very nice car, everyone admired it all the time. One of the nicest they said. Except for the cars the Cullen's had, or the Hales. But that didn't matter. Alice's boyfriend Jasper and his sister Rosalie were the Hales. Totally rich, Jasper was pretty nice, a good friend of mine too. Rosalie looked like your cold hard bitch. She was amazingly pretty and didn't talk to many people. But she wasn't that bad. She was dating Emmett Cullen. Who was brothers with Edward Cullen. Mr. Good Looking.

Emmett was HUGE, he was muscular and loud. He was your average guy you saw and wanted to run away from. I didn't really talk to him. And I didn't know a lot about Edward. He wasn't really around much, and when he was he was quiet. He didn't talk to everyone, he was super smart though. He was my partner in Chemistry. But we'd never talked before. I know he smoked, and that makes you think bad boy don't you think? That's what I thought. I wasn't sure yet though. He was extremely smart, but he also some rumors going around about sleeping around with a couple different girls. Maybe he was the silent but bad boy? I couldn't tell you.

I started walking towards the school, dreading going to English and listening to another lecture on where to put commas and where to put periods. I noticed Edward leaning against the wall casually, smoking a cigarette. Looking so hot. I had to stop myself from drooling. As I went to walk past into the door something caught my arm. I almost fell back but strong sturdy arms caught me.  
"Oup" a sexy musical voice said. I straighten up and turned around, blushing.  
"Sorry" I stammered. He laughed lightly.  
"Don't worry about it. I went to grab your arm to ask you a question. Totally my fault. The least I could do is catch you" he said lightly. I just wanted to sway. Hearing his voice, ohh I could feel myself getting wet. I laughed.

"Oh, so what do you want?" I asked. I thought I heard him mumble 'you' but I must be hearing things.  
"The Chemistry work, can I copy your answers?" he asked. I was kind of taken aghast. He needed to copy my answers? He ALWAYS had his work done. Hmm.  
"Yah sure. Now or in chemistry?" I asked. He put his hand up to his hair and yanked it a little.  
"Uhm, now if I could…" he said. I pulled it out of my bag and handed it over. "Thanks" he mumbled.  
"Anytime" I said feeling the blush rising to my cheeks. So I quickly dashed off.

I ran inside the school, running straight into Laurent.  
"Baby…" he mumbled putting his arms around me. I quickly pushed him away.  
"Do _not_ touch me Laurent. And don't call me baby! I'm not your baby, I'm Bella to you and I do NOT want you touching me" and with that I stormed away. I heard him calling my name after me but I didn't care. I had to get away from him before I started crying. My arm throbbed at the memory of yesterday. And the pressure my books were putting on my arm. I was wearing a long sleeved top, and my new black wrist warmers. I loved wearing black, it made me feel better. So I got black wrist warmer. And there were so many choices and I realized I didn't want to wear the same ones all the time. So I had bought at least fifteen different pairs. Different colors, designs. That should be enough.

I slowed to a walk when I knew I was an okay distance away from Laurent. Sighing in relief. Then someone's hand grabbed my shoulder. I quickly turned and wailed him in the face with my fist.  
"I told you to fuck—" I stopped. It wasn't Laurent. It was Edward Cullen. Shit! "I'm sooo sorry!" I exclaimed. "I thought you were Laurent…" I tried to explain. He put his hands up.  
"Its okay, don't worry about it. I should stop trying to grab you" he laughed and put his hand on his cheek. "Ow. You sure got a punch to you" he mumbled. I laughed.

"Why are you talking to me anyway?" I asked aloud by accident. He laughed this time. Shit, I shouldn't have asked that. I might have blown my chances of him ever talking to me again.  
"I don't know, were chemistry partners, we should get along" he said shrugging my shoulders. I had a feeling there was more to it, but I didn't say anything about it.  
"Oh okay," I said back. He looked at the clock on the wall in the hallway.  
"Shit, I have to get to class. I'll talk to you later" he said sweetly before walking away. What the fuck is this about? Last week he wouldn't be caught dead talking to me, and then this week he won't stop trying to talk to me. I looked around the hall. Everyone was staring; I quickly diverted my head down, blushing and rushing into my English classroom.

English was uneventful, hardly paid any attention. People kept staring at me, and I just looked forward and tried to pay attention to what my teacher was saying. I needed to know this stuff, English was one of my best subjects, but that didn't mean I didn't forget stuff from last year. I couldn't fail this. I wanted to get into great colleges or universities. But I was caught up on thinking about the way Edwards gorgeous green eyes stared so sweetly at me this morning. I couldn't help but get wet at the thought of those strong hands with such long piano looking fingers touching me… _shut it mind!_ I chastised myself. I can't be thinking about him. I just broke up with Laurent yesterday! And he will never be with a girl like me; guys like him didn't go for the plain girls. Especially ones that cut themselves. I realized I was going to be late and rushed out of the English room, running in to another person. I really had to start watching where I was going! I bounced back and almost fell and arms caught me but that was right before I fell, pulling the person along with me to the floor. I felt a strong muscular, amazingly smelling body on top of me. Man I never wanted him to move. I opened my eyes to find myself staring deep into sexy green eyes. I realized Edward Cullen was lying on top of me.

I broke out of my trance and realized that I just brought Edward down with me to the floor.  
"Sorry!" I apologized again to him with that felt like the hundredth time today. He just smiled and laughed.  
"It's okay. Man you sure are clumsy" he said in a sexy voice. I almost moaned. I looked around. People were staring. I realized this was probably awkward.  
"Uhm... People are staring" I whispered. It looked like he just realized where we were. I wanted to laugh at him. Edward Cullen, Mr. Perfect getting all out of shape and forgetting where he was. Oh Jeeze, he's so hot. He helped me up with ease. Strong too.

We quickly brushed off, I blushed. For the third time today around Edward. Everyone slowly started dispersing after realizing nothing was going to happen between us. Then it was left with just Edward and me standing facing each other in the English hall, no works coming from our mouths. Just staring. I heard the bell ring, but didn't bother paying attention. I could stare into his eyes all day long. They made me want to melt. How come I never realized how amazing this guy was before today? His hand slowly came up and his thumb gently touched my cheek. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and stepped away. He finally snapped out of the trance. Coming back to reality.

"Shit, I have to get to class. I wanted to walk you to your class…" he said trailing off. I smiled.  
"It's okay. I can get there myself" and I quickly dashed off in the direction of the art room. I crept in, careful not to disturb the class. My teacher glared but didn't stop what she was doing. Art was fun, drawing pictures of scenery. And I quickly went to my locker that I hadn't put my stuff in today. I grabbed some money out of the stash I had in there, and went to the cafeteria. I went and sat at my usual table where Alice and Angela were sitting at, Jasper was there too of course, because he was Alice's boyfriend and Angela's boyfriend Ben was there. Usually Laurent sat with us too, but he knew better. So I felt like an odd person out. So I just sat quietly eating my lunch, and pulled out my phone. I started going through my texts and deleting the unimportant ones. I went to my contacts list and deleted Laurent's number. I didn't want him in my life! Lunch went by slowly, I just wanted to get to last period where I had chemistry, and sat with Edward.

_Stop! You cant like him! He's perfect! He's playing with you, you dummy! Can't you see! He probably got dared to talk to you! Don't let him in! You got hurt last time you let someone in!_ My mind screamed at me. I finally realized. He was TOO perfect. My head was right for once. I couldn't let him in. I had to turn stone cold. Keep him out. I can't let anyone in, to hurt me. I can't. I went to my third period class. Math and put all my focus into working on the algebra questions the teacher gave us, so I wouldn't think about Edward. I couldn't. As much as I wanted to. I couldn't. He wouldn't like me. For one I was so plain and two if he ever found out I cut myself. He'd be so repulsed and he would probably tell the whole school. He wasn't the nice guy he was acting like today. He had a reputation of sleeping around and he usually never got into anything serious. He was your typical bad boy. Wouldn't surprise me if he did drugs too. I finally stopped thinking about him by the end of Math and braced myself for chemistry. I got my stuff and walked into chemistry with my head held high, not going to talk to Edward at all.

"Hello" his musical voice said as I sat down. I almost caved right there. I craved this guy with everything I had. But I couldn't do that. I pulled out my notebook, staring down at it and starting to draw. I heard him huff and mumble something about girls. I tried to ignore him, drawing on a page in my notebook, I heard the class start. But I didn't look up; in fear I would look over and catch his beautiful green eyes looking at me. I would snap. I could feel my arm throb and I wanted nothing more than to pull out a knife and slice my arm. I felt tears threatening my eyes. I wanted to do this! I reminded myself. I needed this. I couldn't let anyone in anymore. When the bell rang, I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the room as fast as I could without tripping and right to my car. I couldn't have Edward stop me.

I drove away and straight home. I ran to my room in tears not stopping to see if anyone's home. Shutting my door and using the deadbolt to lock it. I run towards the bathroom blindly because of my tears. Searching the countertop for where I left the knife yesterday afternoon. Finding it and feeling the tears stop, pulling off the wrist warmers staring at the bandage on my left arm. I take the knife in my left hand and slice my right arm, not as hard at my left. I couldn't scream out because of the deepness today. It was a shallow cut, but still hurt like a bitch. I muffled a scream into a towel beside me. I felt tears pouring down my face again. But I didn't care.

I could hear my mom knocking on my door asking if everything was alright, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I quickly stopped the bleeding with pressure and used the new bigger bandages I bought yesterday to cover up the cut. I sat there for a minute catching my breath and clenching my teeth in pain. My mom couldn't know. Cleaning up the mess of blood and walking to my bed in a haze of pain, lying down and falling asleep…

The next couple days passed in a haze. I didn't eat unless I had to. Which was only about once a day. I didn't want to. I cut myself every night, to cope with the pain of my mental pain. Laurent kept trying to talk to me. I just ignored him. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't want to. I sat outside the side of the school against the wall staring at the sky everyday for lunch. My friends kept asking if I was ok. If they weren't so oblivious they would notice NOTHING is okay! My arms constantly hurt. But my parents hadn't found out yet, thankfully. I didn't think I had the energy to put up with a shrink. Days were all the same. I woke up, I tried to eat breakfast and couldn't stomach it, I want to school. English class was boring, art was stupid, lunch I sat alone outside, math was easy, and chemistry I spent all my time doodling on my notebook trying to listen to what my teacher was saying without talking to Edward.

I'd seen him around a lot and he seemed to be sad. I didn't know why. Maybe the girl he liked didn't want to be with him. I don't know. He didn't date though. I'd seen him outside the school smoking at lunch every day. I saw him, but I don't think he ever saw me. He looked so upset all the time, I wanted to run over and hug him. But I stopped myself. Saying he was a jerk that wouldn't ever like me, he was probably planning on using me. I couldn't let him do that. Laurent hurt me enough, I didn't want to let another guy in. I was fine on my own. Me, my knife and my own mind. That's all I needed.

Every day Edward would say hi to me when I walked in during class. Every day I would ignore him then run out at the end of class crying and run straight to my car. It had become a routine. A routine I hated, because I wanted nothing more than to be with Edward. When I got home I didn't talk to my parents. I didn't come out of my room all night. My parents would knock on the door for hours trying to get me to come out. For me to talk to them. But when I woke up in the mornings I was alone in the house. The only time I enjoyed. I was lying in my bed right now, looking at the clock. It read five am. I could hear my mom up getting ready for work. My dad left about twenty minutes ago. I got up and went to the bathroom. Turning on the light and covering my eyes for a minute until they adjusted.

I looked in the mirror. I looked ill. I was pale, and my cheek bones were easy to see. I had huge bags under my eyes and I looked like shit. I looked down at my bare arms. Today was Friday. I'd lasted a week. The weekend started tomorrow, and I would have to spend all my time in my room. I made a mental note to grab some snack foods and water and stock up my room for the weekend this morning when my mom left. My mom had weekends off, and my dad had Sundays off. I didn't want to face them; they would know something was wrong. I looked down at my arms. I grimaced. I didn't realize how bad they looked. I took the bandages off last night. I had three on my left arm and three on my right. Then the one from a while ago, it was healed so it was a light pink. The others were a dark red and scabbing over. They looked ugly and so bad up against my pale skin. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at them. I quickly went to my room going to the drawer I kept my wrist warmers in. I grabbed out my purple pair and threw them on. I looked out my window next, watching my mom drive away.

I quickly got dressed. Deciding to wear a tank top today. The wrist warmers covered up my arms, and everyone had seen the wrist warmers by now, so I didn't care, and I was sick of wearing long sleeves. I hated them. I went downstairs grabbing snack foods out of the cupboards and a whole package of bottled water, carrying it all to my room. This should be good. If not I can sneak out of my room while they're sleeping. I then got dressed for school, taking my time because it was still early. I hadn't been able to sleep very much lately. I grabbed my cell phone and checked it. I hadn't really paid attention to it lately. I groaned. 30 missed alerts. I started scrolling through them. Alice, Angela, and an unknown number. Hmm. I read the texts from my friends first. Asking if I was okay, asking me why I wasn't around, why I wasn't answering them. I deleted the texts. I didn't care. Then I read the ones from the unknown number.

**I got this number from Alice, hope it's alright-E**

**Please answer me, I shouldn't have touched you on Monday, I promise I won't-E **

**I miss having my lab partner, ur so distant lately. Please talk to me-E**

And there was many more, begging me to talk to him. They stopped yesterday though. I hadn't gotten any today. I went to put my phone away when it beeped telling me I had a new text. I checked it.

**I'm sorry. Bella, I miss who you were on Monday. I don't know what happened, are you sick? You look very ill. I hope you will talk to me today. I hope I didn't do anything wrong-E**

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. He thought he did something wrong? No. he didn't. It's my fault. I guess I should answer him.

**You did nothing wrong. My fault. Yup, im sick. Didn't want to get you sick. Sorry-B**

I decided to text him. Knowing that was a big fat lie, and I couldn't lie worth shit in person. I couldn't have him knowing the truth. Maybe that will keep him off my case, at least for today. My phone beeped again and I read the text.

**Oh. Hope you feel better :) Sorry for bugging you with all the texts, im worried about you… You know. Because I need your help on the chem project-E**

I laughed. That's why he was being so friendly. He just wanted me to do the whole project. Figures, bad boy doesn't want to do his homework. I looked at the clock. 5:45am. I didn't have to leave the house till seven. I quickly powered up the computer. I started working on the chemistry project, loosing track of time completely. I looked at the clock. 7:25am. Shit! I was going to be late. But I was finished the project. I quickly hit print gathering all my stuff and running out the door, stopping just long enough to lock it. Getting to school just in time for English I ran in breathless.

**EPOV**

I got out of my car and started walking towards my first period class. Music. I was upset. Smoking a cigarette to ease my mind. Bella has been ignoring me! I didn't know what I did. She finally answered my texts this morning, saying she was sick. I didn't believe her. Sure she looked sick. But on Monday she was so sweet and she kept blushing whenever I was around, and then by chemistry she was a totally different girl. I put out my smoke and walked into the class. I sat down at the piano and placed my hands on the keys. Class didn't start for a while. Not very many people were even at school yet, but my music teacher. Mrs. Burskey told me I could come in here and play anytime I wanted. So I let my fingers take over and I started playing what I'd been playing in my head the past week. It was a song for Bella. Oh the beautiful Bella. She had me going crazy!

_Ohhh crazy for you.  
Crazy for you.  
Don't know how it happens  
But I fell and hit my head for you. _

_Bleeding and screaming,  
as you just walked away.  
I thought you were into me.  
Don't go and say…_

**BPOV**

I cursed my way walking up the hall. I fell getting out of my car and got mud on my jeans. I didn't want to be here. Edward would be around and expecting me to act normal. I couldn't act normal. I had to hand in my arm project so I started walking down the arts hall, with the drama rooms and music rooms. I was humming to myself and then I heard it. A beautiful song. I stopped and looked around. Listening for what room it was coming from.

_Ohhh crazy for you.  
Crazy for you.  
Don't know how it happens  
but I fell and hit my head for you. _

_Bleeding and screaming,  
as you just walked away.  
I thought you were into me.  
Don't go and say…_

_That you don't want me,  
That I don't phase you,  
Your face tells me…  
So what your sayings, not true._

_I need you!  
I want you!  
Please don't go away.  
Don't tell me  
That it's too late,  
I need you to stay. _

I realized it was Mrs. Burskey's room. I walked to the door and peeked in. and there, sitting playing the most beautiful song and singing to it, was Edward Cullen. I watched in awe as he sang and played his heart out. Such a beautiful song. It was definitely original. I watched as he stopped. Looking at the keys in concentration. He must be just writing this now. That thought made me smile. I leaned against the door frame, but missed and fell with a thump. I managed to save my painting but I landed hard on my arm.  
"Fuck!" I hissed. I looked over at Edward and his head snapped up. At first he looked shocked, then angry, then worried. He got up and ran over to me. Id managed to get myself sat up by that point and stared into his eyes.  
"Such a beautiful song" I murmured. He smiled at me.  
"How's your arm?" he asked. I moved it. It stung like a bitch. I ground my teeth together.  
"It hurts, but I don't think it's broken" I said. He seemed pleased with that answer.

"Come on; let's get you up, Miss. Eavesdropper." He said with a chuckle I scowled at him.  
"Hey! I was coming this way and I heard a beautiful song. I wanted to know where it was coming from"  
"Well you could have told me you were there"  
"Nawe. I just got there anyways. But you wouldn't have continued playing"  
"Your right. I wouldn't have" he agreed. I smiled at him.  
"Told ya. So who's that song for?" I asked, curious.  
"Song for? Nobody" he said quickly. I let it drop. But I knew that wasn't true.

**EPOV**

Here she is. Falling and making me care for her, and as I'm being nice she starts questioning me about the song. I realized it was coming from the moment I saw her standing there. But I didn't think so soon. I also didn't think she would believe me when I said no one. But she seemed to have. This girl drove me crazy! But I wouldn't want it any other way. I continued walking with her, holding onto her waist so she wouldn't fall. I opted for her waist instead of her arms, she seemed protective of them, holding them against her body all the time. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I helped her into my car- a Mercedes Benz. My precious car. And drove off in the direction of the hospital. She didn't say anything, I was getting worried. She didn't even say anything when I had my arm around her waist. She seemed too hostile the past week and now she seemed to enjoy being in my company. This girl was going to drive me to the point of no return. But I think she already has. And I didn't want to go back.

**Well that was the first chapter people :) Hope you liked it ! Pleeaseeee read and review ! I'd love to hear what you have to say, any ideas for further chapters? Comments on how it's going. How you want Bella and Edward to turn out? Atm I do not know how long this is going to be. I'm going to write until I can't think of anything else. Sound like a deal? Hoopee so :) **

**Sincerely, Kyla. **


	2. Getting Worried

**This is chapter two! Excited? I am. Hope you enjoy it cause I've worked hard :) **

Chapter two

**Getting Worried.**

**BPOV**

I sat sitting on a hospital bed, awaiting the results. I had refused to take off my wrist warmers and the doctors didn't pressure it. The doctor took an x-ray of my upper arm and shoulder to see if anything was broken and now I was waiting. Edward was sitting on a chair across the room looking at his phone. I'm guessing he was texting so I stared out the window. It was around lunch time. I guess this was a great excuse to not be at school. I was lost in my own thought and I heard the door open and click shut.  
"Well, Miss. Swan. You will definitely have a nice bruise, but you're lucky. No break. It was a deep tissue bruise so I'm going to prescribe you some pain killers for the uncomfortable pain. It should be better in about two weeks. Until then, try not to lift anything with that arm, or hit it off anything. You really need to be careful not to fall again either." Dr. Shoft said in a sincere voice. He was getting old now. He was in his fifties I would guess. He was the doctor that had helped me out many times before with all my accidents.

Id always been a pretty clumsy person. Unfortunately.  
"Thank gawd. Thanks Dr. Shoft. Again" I said with a slight laugh. He laughed along, I saw his gaze focus on my arms with wrist warmers once more, and then he smiled and left. Edward got up and walked over to me.  
"Come on. We can make it back for the last two classes of the day" he said helping me up by the waist. He'd been very careful of my arms this whole time. Not even touching them. I was thankful of that though. They hurt. First we walked down to the pharmacy to get my prescription. Then he walked with me out of the hospital, and we went towards his car. I got in and kept quiet. I was still right back to ignoring him. I couldn't have him hurt me. I don't care if he helped me.  
"Thanks" I said quietly. I couldn't just not thank him. I don't think I could have driven to the hospital myself earlier. It hurt too much.

"You're welcome." He answered. We didn't talk the whole way back to school. He parked and I got out and grabbed my bag, going to walk away.  
"Bella…?"He asked as I started walking. I heard a car door slam and footsteps. He grabbed my shoulder. The one that wasn't hurt. And spun me around.  
"What's wrong? I know you haven't been sick. You're hostile towards me now. What happened to the girl you were on Monday? I liked _that_ girl, Bella. The fun, blushing, cute girl. Now you're all dark and hidden. Please tell me what's wrong" he asked in the sweetest way. Leaning down so his breath was fanning out over my face. His green eyes piercing through mine. I wanted to break down. But I knew I couldn't. So I put my head down to avoid his gaze, and walked away. I walked straight to my car. I didn't hear footsteps. I was glad, because I'm sure I wouldn't be able to handle him up that close again.I drove straight home.

When I got there no one was home yet. I walked up to my room in a sort of daze. I closed my door and locked it. Putting on music and blaring it. I grabbed the knife and sliced through my arm. Again and again. Three cuts later on my right arm, and one on my left. I collapsed to the floor in tears. Screaming and balling in pain. I bandaged them all up and quickly washed off the bathroom floor. I put my wrist warmers back on and walked to the corner of my room. Sinking down with my head in my hands and crying. Crying because I was falling for a boy that I would in no world, ever have a chance with. Feeling tears run down my face because no boy like that, would ever want to be with a girl like me.

I fell asleep in the corner of my room, and woke up and it was still light out. I got up and stretched, I was stiff as fuck and I just wanted to collapse again. My arms hurt so much. I then remembered the pain killers Dr. Shoft gave me; I grabbed them out of my bag and took one. I got some water from the tap and drank it down. I walked in circles around my room until it kicked it. Then I could think straight again. I couldn't feel my body very much. But I'd rather it be that way. I thought about what I did. Four cuts. I'd never done more than one a day. I was glad it was Friday. I could hide away and show my pain in my room. it hurt so much. Everything hurt. I was falling for Edward Cullen, and he would never like me back. I heard my mom come home, and then my dad. They both tried to get me to open my door. Both failing at their attempts. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I heard them talking downstairs.

"I'm worried.." my mom was saying.  
"…. big girl… fine" I heard my dad whispering. And then they continued talking and then more attempts to get me to come out of my room, all to no avail. I wanted to laugh. They didn't even see that their only daughter was dying on the inside. If I were them id kick down the door and demand to know what's wrong. But my parents aren't like your normal parents. I got up and walked around my room. Two hours later I was still walking. I had music playing and was humming along. But I was bored. I needed to get out. Clear my head. It was surprisingly just overcast today and it was starting to get dark. So I grabbed my thick sweater, a blanket, my cell, and my IPOD. Then I climbed out the old window of my house and climbed onto the tree there. I climbed down carefully, not wanting to fall and hurt my arm any more. Then when I landed softly on the ground I took off jogging towards the edge of the forest before my parents saw me.

I quickly got into the thick underbrush and was hidden by the green. I breathed a sigh of relief. Serenity. I was alone. I was at peace. I was actually feeling okay. I walked a little father into the forest. Setting my blanket down on a wet rock, glad that I brought it. I turned on my IPOD and put the earphones in my ears. I was listening to a quiet peaceful some staring up at the tops of the trees. I liked to come out here when I needed alone time. I use to do this all the time. I hadn't in a while and I missed it. I loved living beside a forest because I didn't have to worry about nosy neighbors and I could escape from my house, just like this. I sat for hours listening to music and staring at the sky. I sat until it started to get dark. So I walked to the forest edge and waited. I would wait until it was dark to go back and climb the tree. I didn't want to risk getting caught. I'd have to do a lot of explaining to my parents. And I didn't have the time or patients for that. The sky quickly turned dark and I ran for the tree. I put everything in my pockets and folded the blanket over my shoulder. Making my way up the tree quickly into the warmth of my room. I quickly changed out of my cold clothes into something warm and comfy putting music on and turning on my laptop.

I couldn't live without music. It got me through everything. That's why I was so drawn to listen to Edward playing earlier. The music was just so beautiful, and those lyrics. Oh those lyrics. I couldn't help but wonder who there for. Probably some pretty girl from another country or whatnot. But he sang them with such brilliance and love and devotion. His voice was truly angelic. His fingers were magical. I could imagine him touching me… oh the pleasure. His fingers brushing along the piano with such accuracy and smoothness. That boy could probably do wonders with those fingers of his. I had myself panting at the image. Gawd get control of yourself Bella! I yelled at myself. My laptop powered up and I started opening my email. I hadn't checked it in forever. That reminded me I hadn't checked my phone yet today. So while my email was opening I grabbed my phone. I groaned. Again with the many messages. I read them all. Alice and Angela asking where I was today. And of course, more from Edward. What did he want with me? Couldn't he just leave me alone and make this all so much easier!

**Hey Bella, just wanted to make sure your okay…-E**

**I understand if you don't want to answer me. But id really like to know if you're okay from today. Hows your arm feeling?-E**

**Bella? Maybe your asleep.. Im sorry for bugging you but im worried.-E**

**Fuck bella ! its been HOURS can you please just fucking answer me?-E**

I laughed at the last one. So Edward had a temper. Who would have thought? I read them all over again. He was worried about me… I smiled and then stopped. He was just worried because he saw my fall, nothing more. I contemplated answering him back. Finally deciding I should because he did help me out today.

**Hey, sorry, I fell asleep because of the pain killers. Then I wasn't looking at my phone. Sorry-B**

I then started checking my emails and deleting ones I didn't want to read. I was on my computer for a good hour and a half then got off and went and sat in bed. The clock said 9:12 pm, but I was so tired. The pain killers were brutal. Then my phone vibrated, alerting me of a text. I grabbed it and read the text.

**Oh, sorry I freaked. I was worried. I actually thought you were ignoring me… Well how are you ?-E **

**Im fine. A little sore. A little tired. How about you?-E **

I replied to him quickly. Just wanting to hear what he had to say. He intrigued me like no other person ever did. He made me feel things I'd never felt before. He made me feel alive something Laurent never made me feel. I felt funny inside when his green eyes were piercing into mine… I felt safe. My phone vibrated so I picked it up to read the message.

**Im fine… now that im talking to you. Ive been going crazy all day thinking about you—well worrying about you. Your arm. Its my fault. Im sorry-E**

**Noo! Its not your fault. Im the clumsy one. I shouldn't have even been eavesdropping. Beautiful song btw… I love music and I just couldn't help myself. It was soo beautifull… I just had to listen..-B**

**That's okay, its actually nice having the input. Having someone tell me if im good or not. I compose a lot. That was a new song though.-E **

**Well you are very talented. I wish you could have continued to play.-B**

**I can on monday if you want me too. Meet me in the music room at 7:30.-E**

**Will do. But im super tired. Ill see you Monday then…-B**

**See you Monday Bella. :) wait. Is it alright if I text you again tomorrow?-E**

**Sure. I'll try to answer when I can. Goodnight Edward-B**

I re read through the whole conversation. I couldn't help but smile. I got to hear him play again. On Monday. And he wanted to text me tomorrow! Ugh. I felt like a little girl, all giggly and happy because a boy was talking to me. I had to get a hold of myself. I was stronger than this. I didn't need a guy in my life. Even though I wanted him to be in my life. I decided it was probably time to head to bed. I needed sleep. I felt so drained lately, and these pain killers made me want to pass out standing. So I went and got my pajamas on and got comfy in bed. I turned off my phone and lamp beside my bed, and fell asleep thinking of Edward Cullen. This was the first night I dreamt about Edward Cullen….

I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. I stretched and smiled. I dreamt of Edward. One of the best dreams ever. I got up and went to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth to feel refreshed. I re bandaged up my arms because there was blood coming through. I didn't look at the cuts though. They disgusted me. But they made me feel better at the time. When that was done I put my wrist warmers back on. I went and sprawled out in bed again. I looked at the clock. It was only seven in the morning. I groaned out loud. I had to occupy myself in my room all day. I grabbed my phone and powered it up. Waiting for my messages to come in, but I only had one. From Edward…

**Morning, hope I didn't wake you up. I couldn't sleep….-E**

I laughed. He was so cute. The message came in at 6:30. I answered right away.

**No, you didn't wake me. I turn my phone off at night. Just woke up a little while ago. Couldn't sleep either…-B**

I got a response back almost instantly.

**Im bored today. Do you wanna hang out? maybe go see a movie?-E**

I almost screamed out loud. Like a date? With Edward Cullen!

**Like as friends… you should get out of the house-E**

**I'd actually really like that. I doo need to get out of the house.. ive been kinda trapped here while I was sick..-B**

I hated lying to him, but I couldn't tell him the truth. It just didn't work that way. He would be repulsed. He would never want to talk to me again. He would hate me. He would hate everything about me. I didn't want that. I spent the last week ignoring him, but I didn't want to anymore. We could be friends. Just because I couldn't let a guy into my life to love me, doesn't mean I couldn't have friends… that are really good looking. I really wanted him to be in my life. I felt better around him. He made me… almost normal. Not happy. But feel much better.

**Good. Want me to pick you up?-E**

**Uhmm…. No. I'll drive. I don't want to be asked questions…-B**

And there was the fact that I would have to sneak out. I couldn't just go out the front door without being stopped and I'd have even more questions to answer If a guy came to pick me up. My mom's just as bad as my dad except she wants to know because she likes butting in my life.

**Okay. Meet me at the park in an hour and a half. See you there :)- E**

**See you there.- B**

I quickly rushed around my room grabbing everything I needed. I hopped in the shower and scrubbed clean with my favorite shampoo. Watermelon scent. I smiled. Then hopped out and immediately started doing my hair. I wasn't going to get dressed up, like I was going on a date. We were just going as friends. But I wanted to still look good. I was going out with my sex god. Man that boy was hot. I had to look at least decent in order to be with him and not get looks. Wait. Did I say MY sex god? He wasn't mine! Why did I think that? Sometimes I puzzled myself. I finished getting ready in an hour. I had a half hour to get to the park. It was only a twenty minute drive. But I didn't want to be late. And I did have to sneak out. So I grabbed my money, shoved it in my pocket of my skinny jeans, and grabbed my phone. I took a painkiller then slowly and carefully climbed out my window. Car keys gripped in my teeth so I'd have them. When I touched the ground I ran to my car. It was still early in the morning. So my parents might be sitting in the living room. Hopefully they were. The kitchen had a plain sight to the driveway. The living room did not.

I quickly got in and started the car. Pulling out quickly. Even if they did hear me, I would be out of here. They were bound to see me come in earlier and question me. Unless I didn't go home tonight… I could call Alice or Angela, but I'd been ignoring them all week. They wouldn't want me over. I could sleep in my car though. My beautiful black mustang. This thing was a beast. It could put up with everything, and it wasn't the quietest cars in the world. So I can almost guarantee they heard me pull out. My dad would be leaving for work soon anyways. And not getting home till late, so I didn't have to worry about him if I did end up coming home. Just my nosey, overprotective mother. I started driving down the road; it felt good to be free. Not having to be at school, not being stuck in my room. I'd also get to spend the day with the sexy Edward. I got to the park pretty quickly. He was there. Waiting standing on the side of his silver Volvo. Looking like a god. He was sexy as hell. I really wanted to jump his bones right then.

I pulled up beside him and he opened the door for me. It took my breath away. He was a gentleman too. I got out and looked up at him through my eyelashes.  
"Edward" I greeted.  
"Bella" he said back. The way my name sounded so smooth off the tip of his tongue. The way he said it like I was important. My panties were wet instantly. I wonder if it was plain on my face how much I wanted him. If he could tell what he did to me. He gave me his lopsided grin, and I had a feeling he knew exactly that he did to me. We started walking towards the middle of the park. It was quiet. We didn't say anything and no one was up and about that this time in the morning. With the close proximity to him, it felt like electric shocks were traveling in between our hands that were almost brushing against each other.

"You look pale. Are you still sick?" he asked me, stopping to turn towards me. We parked at the front of the park, so it was a long walk. I stared up at him. I was speechless. I couldn't make words come out of my mouth. I couldn't do anything. He has a sparkle in his eye and he smiled a little smile.  
"I really hope you don't slap me…" was all he said before he brought his lips down to mine quickly. I broke out of my trance instantly. Wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, gripping his hairs at the back of his neck, yanking slightly and moaning deep into his throat as he trusted his tongue deep inside my mouth. He took his lips off mine and started kissing down my neck, licking and nipping gently as he went down. My knees got all wobbly and I almost fell. Bringing me out of my dream.

Edward was standing in front of me. I was still by my car. He caught hold of me as I swayed.  
"Are you okay? You look pale. Are you still sick?" he asked in his sweet velvety voice. It was all a fantasy. That mind blowing kiss. Didn't. happen. I wanted to scream.  
"I'm fine" I said instead. Walking away abruptly. Hearing him walking behind me. my panties were soaked and I really wanted him to kiss me! I never really got what I wanted. He came up behind me grabbing my arm. I slinked back automatically. Worried about my arms. He put his hands up in an apologizing way.  
"Sorry. I forgot that you hated when I touched you." He said. I wanted to groan aloud. That's not it silly boy. You drive me crazy when you touch me. Just not my arms. If only he knew…

**EPOV**

Gawd this girl was driving me INSANE! I knew she didn't think this was a date. We were going out as friends. But she drove me crazy. I liked her. A lot. Sure I was a badass. And in the past I never got into relationships. But this was different. Sure. At first I only talked to her because she was my lab partner. But then I started actually seeing the person she was. She looked upset. She looked depressed. And that dick Laurent didn't treat her right at all. And when they broke up, I knew I had to keep her from him. What, I know I'm supposed to not care, but I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be happy. I was protective of her. And now I realized why. I loved her. I loved Isabella Swan. All though I would never call her Isabella. She hated it. I heard from her friends. I had always known she was this pretty, guarded girl. The mystery kept me wanting to get in and find out everything about her. I guess in the process, I kind of fell for her.

So recently I started talking to her. And after that one day everything changed. She changed. She went from smiling at me one day. To a cold hard shell the next. She was in her depression state again. I could tell. And it was worse than when she was with Laurent. I hopped it wasn't my fault. And I had to find out. So I asked her out to hang with me today. I knew she was scared to be with me, scared of what was going to happen. And I was going to be calm and nice today. I wasn't even going to smoke; I didn't know if that was a turn on or turn off for her. I didn't want to lose her again. It hurt too much the last couple days not talking to her. Knowing that she was dying inside and I couldn't do anything about it. No. I didn't know for sure what she was feeling. But I was always perceptive. I always knew people. So I had a good guess about the girl Bella was.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was always on my mind. Like the song I wrote said. I'm crazy for her. I was falling hard and I didn't think I could stop, but she didn't even try to stop me from falling. She just ignored me. Even if I was dying. As she walked away from me today, I felt a little piece of me die. I knew I had to mend that piece by making her happy with me again. I ran and caught up to her. Making sure she was okay. She looked fine. She looked strong and sturdy. Like she could face anything. I wanted to make her mine. I wanted to kiss the fuck out of that face. I wanted to take her to the backseat of my car and fuck her senseless. She was so beautiful. With just the right curve of her hips and as she walked the way her ass swayed. She had the perfect lips and oh those eyes. They pierced into me every time our eyes met.

She stared at me breathless, with her mouth open a little bit as I stared deep into her eyes. I started leaning it. I wanted to kiss her. Oh I wanted to kiss her…

**BPOV**

He started leaning in to kiss me. I really wanted him to kiss me! But as I realized what he was doing, I snapped out of my daze and pulled back.  
"I-I-I'm sorry" I stammered as I ducked under his arms, tears filling my eyes and stumbled towards my car.  
"Bella..." he whispered. I turned around to see him with a strained look on his face. "I-I-I…"

**And that's how this chapters ending ;) Sorry, but I that's how it worked out. Leave me reviews and ill work on getting the next chapter up sooner for you! I really want to hear what ya have to say!**

**Sincerely, **

**Kyla **


	3. Getting To Know You

**The song in this chapter is one I love to sing myself. Bound to you-Christina Aguilera **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! Make sure to review so I can get your feedback on what you think :) thanks a lot ! **

Chapter 3: Getting To Know You

**BPOV**

I couldn't hear what he was saying. My heart was pounding so loud that all I could hear was the _thud, thud, thud.  
_"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, please don't leave. You said you needed time out of the house. And please stop crying, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me" Edward said all at once in a rushed breath. What was I suppose to say to that? I didn't want to leave… I didn't _want_ to go home at all! So I could stay. I guess. I'd just have to make sure to warn him to keep his distance. As much as I wanted him close. It was too dangerous. I couldn't let him in. I could feel the pain in my arms with my blood. With every beat, my arms throbbed and my cuts hurt more and more. I put my hands on each arm and held them, holding myself together. Edward looked worried.

"I'll stay" I choked out. "But I don't want to be out in the public." I said in a whisper. He heard me though.  
"Okay, that's okay. I'm not letting you drive like this though. Friends don't let their friends drive emotional" he said with a laugh. I smile at him. He smiled back. "I'll drop you off here later to get your car. Come on. I'll take ya somewhere I use to go as a kid" he said sincerely. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms and let him hold me. But I didn't. I slowly turned and started walking towards his car. He came in front of me, opening the door for me. I smiled my thank you. He nodded his head with his hand, like he was holding a hat, like a gentleman. A giggle escaped my lips, when he heard my laugh his whole face lit up. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. I couldn't stop smiling. Before I said anything he had he pinned against the side of his car.

He out his face beside my ear.  
"I have never heard a laugh, so sexy in my entire life" was all he said. Then he pushed himself away from the car. Leaving me leaning against it. I slowly, in a daze got into his car and he shut the door behind me. He was so amazing. Why couldn't I give in? Oh ya, because he was just being nice to make sure I didn't cry again. He got in the other side, started the car and drove away from the park. All without saying a word. It felt like there was an electrical current running between Edward and I in the car, I wanted to reach out and run my hands through his beautifully messy hair. I wanted to pepper his face with sweet kisses as he sighed out my name. I wanted him. Everything about him! We drove for a long time. We drove until we got to the beach, but the weather was miserable out. He parked the car and then came to my side of the car. Opening the door for me. he went to take my hand to help me out, but I kept my arms close to my body.

He dropped his hand and settled for walking beside me as we walked to the beach and walked along the waterline. I had my arms wrapped protectively around my body because it was cold. I wasn't wearing clothes for cold weather. I didn't plan on being outside this long. He noticed this and took off his coat, wrapping it around my shoulders. I gladly put my arms through it, hugging myself warm again. It smelt like him. The sweet smell was intoxicating.  
"Thank you" I whispered. Noticing he was in just a long sleeved shirt now. I went to take it off and hand it back. He laughed.  
"I'm fine. Now put that back on before you get sick" he demanded. I didn't feel like arguing, and I loved the feel and smell of it. I didn't want to give it back. He came closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, hugging himself close to me as we walked. I wasn't going to object.

We walked with his arm around me all the way down the beach. He finally stopped. I didn't have a clue why he was stopping; there was nothing around, except a huge brick wall in front of us. I looked at him puzzled. He laughed at me.  
"Why, when a brick wall comes up in front of you, do you just turn around and walk back?" he asked with his sexy smirk. I just nodded. He laughed.  
"People do this because they don't like the challenge, they aren't adventurous. I on the other hand, have always been adventurous" winking his eye; he motioned to where there seemed to be cracks in the wall like a ladder.  
"Did you make these?" I asked poking at the cracks. He gave me a mischievous grin and grabbed me by the waist lifting me up to the first one. I screamed and grabbed hold of the wall.

"Put me down!" I screamed.  
"No, I said I was taking you to where I went as a kid. It's over this wall. Now climb" he demanded. I didn't want to object, seeing as I was 3 feet off the ground. I started climbing. I got to the top of the wall and was relieved to see it was thick so I could sit on it. I didn't bother looking at what was on the other side of the wall. I sat facing the beach, waiting for Edward to climb up. I wasn't afraid of heights, never have been, but it was at least a 12 foot drop from here. So I made sure to stay firmly sitting on the wall. He climbed up, taking me in his arms and whispering in my ear.  
"That wasn't so bad was it? Now there's a ladder on the other side of the wall, but I'm going to climb down and I want you to jump down okay. I will catch you. I promise. I promise I will always catch you" he said in his sweet velvety voice, sounding so serious about his promise, I almost could hear the strain in his voice.

I just nodded slightly as he let me go, quickly descending down the ladder. I felt cold without his arms around me. The wind had picked up and being so high up, and it was cold. I hugged myself to keep warm. I heard his voice call down from behind my back.  
"Bella! Come on, just jump. I'll catch you!" I quickly without opening my eyes spun on my butt so that I was facing away from the beach. Into wherever he was taking me. I opened my eyes just enough to stand up and then close my eyes again. Taking a small lead so I would be far enough away from the wall not to hit. The air rushed all around me and then all of a sudden it stopped. No hard impact. Nothing. Just the feather light catch that Edward had performed and I was cradled gently in his embrace. I opened my eyes staring at him in the face.

This time. I didn't pull away. I was the one to lean in. I slowly and sweetly connected out lips together. Electricity shot through my, and I wrapped my arms around his neck yanking his head down before I could even process it. He had my up against the wall with my legs wrapped around his waist in seconds. Taking over my lips. He licked my lips aggressively, asking—no begging for entrance. I complied, feeling his tongue slide into my mouth and as our tongues touched, we both moaned a feral moan. Loudly choreographed together. I wanted him more than anything right now. And trust me, I wasn't a virgin. I hadn't been for a while, but I hadn't had sex in a long time. I really wanted Edward's dick in me. I pushed my hips out from the wall grinding them against his strain in his pants. He hissed and kissed me harder.

There was a loud crack and a piece of rock fell off the wall beside us. We broke away, gasping for air. Then both started laughing. He let me down and I whimpered at the loss of warmth and contact.  
"I'm sorry," he apologized. I blushed.  
"No, that was all me. I should be the one apologizing…" I trailed off looking around me. Then I realized what was around. It was a little secluded resort area almost. Except it was deserted. There was a private beach. But the walls went right down into the water. So to get here you'd have to swim. Then there were a couple cabins and what looked to be a restaurant.  
"Why isn't there anyone here?" I asked, shocked that this beautiful place was empty.

"Many years ago, there was a problem with snakes. No one wanted to come because of the water snakes. So they shut it down." He explained. I immediately looked around alarmed. I hated snakes. He laughed. "There's no snakes anymore, don't worry. I'm here all the time. There is even tables left in the restaurants and a kitchen that works. All the cabins are still fully furnishes and the beach even has chairs and umbrellas" he gestured around him. It was beautiful here. I started walking and Edward quickly caught up, taking my hand in his. It felt warm and I blushed at the contact. Looking away from him so he wouldn't see it. So much had changed in just a couple minutes. I felt… safe with him. I didn't understand. I didn't want to be with him, he had a bad reputation and I knew he would hurt me, but that didn't mean I couldn't have fun did it?

**EPOV**

Everything had changed to abruptly. She went from being the shy girl that was trying to keep her distance from me to the girl that was holding my hand and swinging our hands between us as we walked around my secret paradise. I hadn't been here in a long time, but I knew that I needed to take her here when she was that upset. It was nice to spend some time with her alone, out of public. Where I could do what I wanted. Like that kiss before. Oh that kiss! I didn't even kiss her, she kissed me! I definitely wasn't going to hold back, and when she grinded her hips into me? She should be happy I didn't take her right then and there against the wall. Her moaning had me so turned on, which was still a prominent issue in my pants, but I situated it so she wouldn't see.

She was so beautiful. Seeing her smile., seeing her so carefree. It was beautiful. She was laughing with me as I showed her around. Joking and being funny. She was so different then the girl I saw this week. From the first day I saw her she didn't wear wrist warmers or a long sleeved shirt. Then since the beginning of this week, she had been. I would notice the difference; I'd been her lab partner the whole semester. Maybe she just forgot to wear them on Monday. Because I saw her beautiful body and her wrists were perfect. I would never believe such a fun and carefree girl could purposely hurt herself. Maybe she just liked them as a fashion sense. When we were texting, she said she had to get out of the house; I took that as an opportunity to spend time with her and get to know her better. I figured there was an issue at home which was why she wanted to get out so much. But who am I to know. I hardly knew her.

Yet I wanted to know everything about her. She intrigued me. Everything about her had me wanting to love her every day for the rest of my life. She was totally and unconditionally perfect for me, and I would try my hardest to keep this sweet, beautiful creature happy. I would do everything in my power to make her mine for the rest of our lives. We walked hand in hand not saying anything other than me telling her about the place. Finally I took her to the far end of the resort. To my favorite spot. She stopped and smiled when she saw where I was taking her and turned towards me smiling.  
"Even at my age, I always enjoy a good tire swing…" I trailed off. She smiled a 250megawatt smile, and I laughed. She let go of my hand, running towards the swing full speed. Jumping up with her feet in the tire and her arms holding onto the rope that I made sure was tied securely the last time I was here.

Her laugh rang out through the air.  
"Push me!" she yelled in such a carefree tone that I took off running towards her. When I got to the swing I pushed hard. Not too hard for her to go flying off, but for her to scream and laugh as it swung and then came back. I pushed her again, and again. It felt like hours and finally she jump off soaring through the air and landing on the ground with humph on her hands and knees. I ran over making sure she was on and she sat up on her knees as I bent down. My cock was straining against my pants as I saw the perfect O her mouth shaped when she realized she was on her knees with her face extremely close to my straining problem.

I took a step back before lending my hand down to her to help her up. She didn't say anything so I captured her lips in a chaste kiss. She kissed me back but then grabbed my hand, running off again. I ran with her both laughing as she ran into the dining hall. She quickly grabbed her phone out of her pocket, searching through YouTube, finding a song she wanted. She put it on the table beside us, full blast and smiled at me.  
"Watch" she commanded. Pushing me back into a chair with her hand. She then grabbed a chair and went on to the stage. With that little smile of hers. How could I possibly say no?  
"You can't laugh. I've always wanted to do this. To perform. I've been in dance since I was young… and I've never really sang in front of anyone... So just bear with me?" she asked. I smiled. "Can you press play?" she asked. I took her phone pressing play. The instrumental of the song echoed through the place. I smiled. She played the chair backwards. Sitting on it with her legs around the back of the chair. Holding a microphone she found backstage.

It didn't work but it made it seem more real. Damn this girl made me smile. The song was a karaoke style, so I would only have to hear her. The song My Immortal by Evanescence sounded through the whole place. She sang right on key and knew it word for words. Her voice was absolutely amazing. Her voice worked perfectly with piano… that had me thinking. I really wanted to work with her, write a song she could sing. Just so I could hear her singing. I looked around the room. Noticing behind her on the stage was a grand piano. Who the hell would leave such a beautiful creature here! I got up walking towards the piano. Taking her phone with me. Then pausing the music. She gave me the look like "what the fuck?" then she talked.

"Was I really that bad?" she asked. Looking embarrassed. I laughed.  
"Absolutely not. Not come over here for a second" I motioned her over. She listened and sat beside me on the seat  
"You voice harmonizes perfectly with piano's. So I want to try something. Have you ever written lyrics?" I asked. She nodded. "Okay good. Go with what feels right. Just sing whatever you want to the sound of the piano. Okay?" I asked. She nodded again. And I started playing. She started humming as I started it off. And then she started singing.

"Sweet love, sweet love, trapped in your love  
I've opened up, unsure I can trust  
My heart and I were buried in dust  
Free me, free us

You're all I need when I'm holding you tight  
If you walk away I will suffer tonight  
I found a man I can trust and boy, I believe in us  
I am terrified to love for the first time

She then got up and started dancing around lightly on her feet. For such a clumsy girl I was surprised.

Can you see that I'm bound in chains?  
I've finally found my way  
I am bound to you  
I am bound to you

So much, so young, I've faced on my own  
Walls I build up became my home  
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us  
Sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath with just one beating heart  
and I embrace myself, please don't tear this apart  
I found a man I can trust and boy, I believe in us  
I am terrified to love for the first time

Can you see that I'm bound in chains?  
I've finally found my way  
I am bound to you  
I am bound to you…"

She finished and then walked back over to me slowly. Sitting down beside me.  
"That was horrible" she said in a groan.  
"That was great!" I exclaimed. It was magnificent, especially because she made it up on the spot like that. And she sang perfectly to the tempo of the music I was playing on the piano. I hugged her close to me.  
"Your absolutely amazing Bella Swan. You are so full of surprises. You intrigue me more and more with everything you do and say. You have me going crazy" I whispered the last part, over her head. Hoping she wouldn't hear.

"What? I didn't hear what you said last?" she asked. I just laughed a light laugh.  
"Nothing, not that you need to worry about it," she just cuddled into my side. Then her phone started going off. She made no motion to get it.  
"Aren't you going to get that?" I asked.  
"Nope. That's my parents ring tone." She said flatly. I just left it at that. I didn't want to be nosey. I also didn't want to let her go. But I knew that we would have to leave soon. As I was thinking this she pulled away, and the sweet innocent way she was looking up at me I couldn't help but bend down and capture her lips once again in a sweet kiss. I pulled away smiling. She blushed.

"We should probably get back…" she said looking away from me. I grabbed her chin gently and turned her head so she was facing me.  
"You need to stop being embarrassed around me. You have nothing to be ashamed about" I said in a whisper. Letting my breath fan out all over her face. She took in a shocked gust of air which made me smile. I loved the effect I had over her. She just nodded, so I let her go. She got up grabbing her phone off the top of the piano, putting the microphone back where she found it and walked out. I quickly took off after her coming up behind her and picking her up in my arms running. She screamed and laughed smacking my breast over and over to let her down. It didn't hurt though, so I kept running. I took her into the closes cabin throwing her on the bed and climbing up in-between her legs and then kissing her sweet lips, she kissed me back without even thinking.

"I thought we could spend a couple more minutes…" I said unsure. She just nodded eagerly taking over my lips again. I grind my now aching erection against her once to see what she would do. She moaned, so I continued this. We were both moaning into each other's mouths while kissing. I kissed down her neck and she let her head fall back and she arched her back. I wanted nothing more than to strip her down and kiss her breasts. But I knew she wouldn't like that. I had to take things slow. So I settled for kissing down her neck. Then I kissed her lips once more. Stopping my motions of grinding against her because I couldn't stand it anymore if I couldn't strip her down. I tickled her gently so she'd open her eyes. She looked down at me with those beautiful brown eyes glimmering. I smiled. Getting off of her and helping her up. I gently smacked her ass and she jumped and yelped, then turned beet read.

I loved her blush. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. Then we walked out of the cabin hand in hand and back towards the wall. I boosted her up again, but this time playfully squeezing her ass in the process. She giggled and slapped my hand away. I laughed, knowing she liked it and started climbing up after her. When I got up before I could stop her she jumped off.  
"Bella! NO!" I screamed. Id tried that before, and I broke my ankle. It was too far of a drop! I quickly started climbing down, and heard her land with a loud thump. I scrambled down and over to her. And she was laughing. What the hell?

"Are you okay? Bella! Stop laughing and answer me!" I yelled.  
"Yes Edward. I'm fine" she said with a smile. I sighed in relief. She got up dusting the sand off of her. "that was actually really fun.." she said. I smiled, glad she was ok.  
"Well don't do that again!" I stated. "You're not the most balanced person, and you scared the shit outta me" I said with a not humorous laugh. She smiled a weak smile.  
"Sorry" she mumbled. I grabbed her in my arms and hugged her tight. Whispering in her ear.  
"It's okay, your forgiven" she turned around smiling at me. Then she dashed off. I groaned. Damn she has a lot of energy.

I took off after her, the sand flying up behind me as I ran. I hadn't run for pleasure in a long time. I ran for sports. I played baseball, football, soccer and rugby. But it wasn't any of those seasons yet. But I had to stay fit, so I ran every night. It also kept my lungs in shape because I smoked. Shit, I hadn't had a smoke all day. That was ganna affect me later. But the sweet Bella had distracted me. I don't think she'd want me to have smokers breath around her. I didn't think she was the kind of girl to smoke. I saw her out in front of me a little bit. It wouldn't take much to catch up. I stepped it up a little and then ran right into her.

"Ouf!" I yelled making us both fall to the ground. I made sure not to land on her hard though. She had stopped. "Why'd you stop?" I asked.  
"I got tired" she said simply. I flipped her around so she was on her back and our chests were pushed up against each other I had my hands holding onto her wrists above her head.  
"You simple amuse me more and more as the day goes on" I said quietly. She just smiled a weak smile. I got worried. This wasn't the smile she'd been showing all day. This was back to the Bella she was all week. This was the Bella before my secret hideout. She had her walls back up. I leaned down to kiss her. She turned her head. Putting her hands on my chest.  
"Let me up" she demanded. I didn't fight with her. I rolled off her. She got up dusting herself off, and then started walking towards my car. What the hell just happened?

I didn't push it or even ask her. I didn't try to get near her again; I just opened the car door for her. She nodded at me and then got in. I walked around and got in, driving back towards the park. She didn't try to make conversation as we drove. Neither did I. but I did miss the girl that she was earlier with me. The one that was all flirty and cute and the one that kept wanting to kiss me. The girl that sang her heart out with her beautiful voice. I missed Bella, but Bella was sitting right beside me…

**BPOV**

It was so close. So close to him seeing my wrists. I couldn't take these chances again. I had to block him out again. I shouldn't have let him in, in the first place. When he had me pinned my sweater and coat were sliding down my arms. So close… I had my wrist warmers on yes. But there was always a chance. A chance I wasn't willing to take. He was popular. He was Mr. Bad boy. He wouldn't hesitate to tell everyone about my secrets. Just because he was nice to me in person didn't mean he was this great guy that I could trust with my life. It didn't work that way.

I stayed quiet the whole way back. Just wanting to get to the safety of my own car, where I wouldn't have to worry about him seeing me cry. I was fighting back tears right now, that I wouldn't let shed in front of him. I wouldn't shed another tear in front of him. I wouldn't show my weakness. He pulled in the parking lot and before he could say anything I had the door open rushing out, slamming the door behind me. With my head down I ran through the parking lot in the now drizzling weather to my mustang, getting in and slamming the door shit. Hitting the automatic lock and putting my hands and head on the steering wheel. I breathed deeply. Collecting myself before starting my car. I saw Edward parking and getting out of his car to come towards me. I quickly put my car in drive and got out of there, I couldn't face him. Not while my tears were now pouring down my face. He couldn't see me like this. I wouldn't let him. I hear him in the background but I don't look back. I don't even look at the road as I pull out. I head Edward scream my names at the top of his lungs and the screeching of breaks…

**Well this is the chapter. Sorry to leave it on such a note… but this is where I decided to end it. Please remember to click that little review button. I want to know what ya think :) **

**Sincerely, **

**Kyla**


	4. Need Serenity

Chapter 4: Need Serenity 

**BPOV**

As soon as the tire screeching started I closed my eyes, hands on the steering wheel, pushing my body back against the seat, waiting for the impact. But the impact didn't come. The screeching stopped. I heard Edwards voice stop calling my name. Then I heard a line of cussing coming from that beautiful mouth of his. I opened my eyes looking out my passenger window. There, not even two feet from my black mustang, was an orange Chevy pickup truck. And beside the truck was a very angry Edward…punching a guy in the face repeatedly. I got out of my car quickly, turning it off before hand and running around my car to where the two men were scrapping.

"Edward! Stop!"  
"NO!" He screamed in my face. Pulling his hand back to punch me. I shrink back. Then everything changes. He still looks angry. But he relaxes a little. His arms fall to his side. I'm still shrinking back away from him.  
"Bella… I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have hit you..." he rambled. I just shrugged. Still keeping my distance. I looked to left. There on the ground. Unconscious. Was Tyler from school.  
"Edward… what did you do?" I whispered. He grabbed on his hair. Yanking at it. Then pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. Taking a huge puff before speaking.

"He almost hit you. He should have been watching where he was going." He said simply. I started at him with my mouth open.  
"That's no reason to knock him unconscious!" I screamed. "You're going to go to JAIL! The police are going to come soon! SURELY someone phoned them! He's going to wake up and say you freaking beat him up! You could get arrested Edward! He didn't even hit me!" I screamed. Edward was taking another huge puff and pulling on his hair with his other hand.  
"He should have been watching where he was going…" he repeated. I huffed, walked over to my car and slid down to the wet ground leaning against my mustang. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply.

I heard his footsteps grow quiet as he walked away. I was relieved. I didn't want him around. I had to learn to stay away from him. He made me want things that I shouldn't. I keep my eyes closed, breathing deeply. Then I hear his footsteps coming up to me again. I opened my eyes looking up at him. He has a blanket in his hand. He sits down next to me. draping the blanket over my shoulders. Its then that I realize it's raining out, and I am shivering.  
"T-th-thanks" I say as I shiver. He just nods at me. Pinching the bridge of his nose.

We sit there for what seems like hours. Tyler moved and moaned a couple times. But never fully woke up. I heard sirens in the distance and then the police and ambulances came flying down the street. The ambulance took me and checked me to make sure I was okay. They said I was fine. The police had Edward in handcuffs and were questioning him. I really hoped he didn't get in trouble. I was escorted home in one of the police cars with another cop driving my mustang home for me. The police didn't think I was in well enough shape to drive. When we pulled up my mom came running out of the house. I groaned.

"Bella! BELLA! Where the hell have you been! What did you DO! Sir, I assure you she must have had a logical reason..." she started ranting. I take my car keys from the police officer. Thanking him, and pushed past my hysterical mother running up to my room. Unlocking my door with the key on the key ring and walking in. I lock the door behind me, stripping out of my soaking clothes putting on new underwear and a oversized t-shirt. Collapsing on my bed.

I heard my phone going off, not knowing how much time had passed since I collapsed on my bed. I didn't want to answer it, but I knew I'd have to at some point. I got up off my bed. My feet were numb because id been lying there for so long. It was dark outside. My eyes were clouded with tears. My makeup was probably running everywhere. How things changed so much in just a few hours I would never understand… I was so happy. And then snap. I was back to life. Back to my life. The shitty hell hole it was. I opened my phone up and read the text.

**Sorry for earlier. Couldn't just let him get off easy… he should have been paying attention... I just got a warning, and 20 hours community service. Hope u aren't mad.- E**

I sighed. I don't think I could ever truly be mad at him. He was just trying to protect me. He didn't mean to hurt Tyler, he just couldn't help it. I quickly typed out a message and pressed send.

**Not mad, just tired. And cold. Was outside for a long time. thank you. But next time , just talk. He didn't deserve that. It was an accident. Plus he didn't hit. Im safe. Im fine…-B**

What a lie. I thought to myself. Laughing a very humorless laugh. I walked into my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. My mom hadn't come to check on me. I guess the police officers explained everything and she thought I needed some alone time. Once I was cleaned up I went and lay on my bed again. I checked the time on my phone. 8:45pm. Damn I was tired. It couldn't be only almost nine. My phone alerted another text. I quickly read it.

**Ill try. Don't have the best temper control… I could keep you warm ;)-E**

**Ha thanks, but no thanks. Blankets will do just fine-B**

**Awe man, I was looking forward to cuddling :( -E**

**Ha. Ha. You're so funny. Even the luckiest man on earth wouldn't get to cuddle with me in my bed..-B **

**Well maybe you should let a man in. A man to protect you…-E**

**Oh shit, im sorry. I have to go. I need a smoke before bed and my parents went to bed, so that's my cue. Peace-E**

**Shit that sounded bad… Goodnight Bella :) –E**

I laughed. My phone kept going off from texts from him. I waited until the last to respond. Responding with a quick goodnight. Usually I found smoking a huge turn off, but with him, it was kind of hot. Thinking of him as the bad boy biker type… gawd! No Bella. I could feel the pool of wetness starting between my legs. I rubbed my legs together absentmindedly. Moaning quietly. I had never got myself off before, but the pooling between my legs wouldn't stop, as the thoughts wouldn't either. I quickly rubbed my hand against my underwear moaning again. Gawd why did this feel so good? I knew what to do, I quickly moved my underwear to the side, sticking two fingers in. pumping at a fast pace, thinking of the beautiful Edward. His green eyes, bronze hair. The way he kissed me. the way he was grinding against me. Rubbing my clit hard against my hand, keeping my moaning quiet, I clenched around my fingers, moaning through my release.

After I calmed down from the high, I go to the bathroom to clean up, then walking back out to my room. I lay down in bed and just thought about everything that happened today. It was a great day. I have to admit that. I fell asleep later on, thinking about Edward. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him lately…

**EPOV**

I blew out a puff of smoke. Gawd this felt good. It had been to long since I smoked weed. Especially shit this good.  
"Thanks man, I really needed this" I said nodding in James direction. He just nodded, I passed the joint to him and he took a long breath in. James wasn't a friend of mine. Not even close. I pretty much used him for good weed. That's about it. He didn't go to Forks High School; he went to a high school in Port Angeles. And he came down once a month, and brought me some shit. He couldn't come last month so this was long overdue. I felt like a dick for leaving Bella on such a note earlier. But I really needed this. Especially after the fucking hell of a day I had.

After the almost crash Bella was escorted home, and I was taken down town for questioning. They let me off with a warning this time, since I'd never been in any serious trouble. Sure I got in trouble around school often. But I kept my marks up high, so the school didn't dare suspend their "best" student. I laughed out loud. James just looked at me than looked away again. Man this shit worked fast… well anyways. They didn't want to arrest me seeing as I had a perfect record and all. If only they knew. They were so oblivious.

I leaned against the side of my house. Taking another puff. It was helping already. Distressing me. Bella had me all confused. She was a totally different girl today. They she turned right back into the Bella I'd gotten to know over the past week. I couldn't do this. This wasn't me. I was Edward Cullen. I didn't get into serious relationships. Every guy wanted to be me, because every girl wanted me, but that didn't mean I got with them. I hadn't even been with many girls in my past. Not nearly as much as people say. Girls say that they got with me all the time, for popularity I guess. But I don't see it as that. There all low lives that lie about who they sleep with. I couldn't stand more than three quarters of the people in the school.

I didn't want to fall for Bella. But I didn't think I could stop it anymore. I couldn't lose my tough guy reputation, I didn't want to put up with people. I didn't like talking to people. They all pissed me off. Except my brother Emmett, his girlfriend Rosalie, her brother Jasper and his girlfriend Alice. Who happened to be friends with Bella... but if I lost my reputation, people would start to talk. And I wouldn't hesitate to knock every one of those dumb fuckers out at the school. especially Mike Newton. Tried to get with every girl. Idiot. I felt bad for Tyler today. I hadn't punched anybody in a real long time, and I hate that it had to be him I took all my anger out on.

But once he almost hit Bella, I freaked. What if she got hurt? Or worse, died. I wouldn't admit this, but I didn't know what I would do without her. She made my life that much better. And I needed that. I would miss her. Most definitely. I missed her the past week. She'd been at school, but not all THERE. She was a different girl. And it worried me. It worried me that it was my fault, but then I remembered what Laurent did to her. I wouldn't do that to her. Yes, I had done that to people in the past. But something about her was different then the other girls I have dated.

I took another long drag from the joint. Then put it out. I had to get back inside. It was getting late. I didn't want to stay out here smoking all night, or I would be fucked. And then I would be grumpy in the morning. Thank gawd it was only Sunday tomorrow. I waved to James, and told him to get outta here. That I'd see him next month. He nodded and stumbled away. I didn't know how that guy drove at all, let alone when he was high, but that aint my problem. I walked back inside quietly. Careful not to disturb anything to make it noticeable I was out smoking. My parents didn't know I smoked cigarettes let alone drugs. My dad being a doctor and all would flip shit and my mom would have a breakdown. The image of her perfect son being ruined for her.

As much as I loved drugs and everything, I couldn't hurt my parents like that. They couldn't know. Ever. I got to my room locking my door, jumping and landing in a heap on my bed. Without getting up I took off my shirt and jeans, sleeping in my boxers.

**BPOV**

I woke up with a sore back, and neck. Then I realized I must have got up in the middle of the night and curled up in the old rocking chair in the side of my room. I groaned. Getting up and stretching. Sunday. Great. Today I would have to do all the homework due for tomorrow, and avoid parents at all costs. There was a knock at my door. I crept quietly over to my bed, grabbing my phone. Ah hell. It was already noon. I wondered how long my parents had been knocking at the door. I ignored the door. I walked to the bathroom, turning my tap on to fill the tub. I really needed a long ass soak in the tub. I heard my phone go off from in my room. I almost ran to the phone.

**Hey, sorry I was a douche last night. Was so tired. And stressed. Seriously needed that smoke. Mornings bells –E**

I couldn't help but smile at the text. I brought my phone into the bathroom and put it on the counter as I got into the hot water. Sighing at is hit all the right spots in my muscles. I picked up my phone and typed out a message back.

**Don't worry bout it, I wasn't in the best of moods either. – B**

**Im in a better mood now. What are you doing right now?-E**

**Sitting in the tub…-E**

After I sent that I realized I shouldn't have. He didn't need to know where I was. I should have just said fucking relaxing! Stupid me. Stupid. Stupid. Stup— my phone alerted another text.

**Mmm. Sounds nice. Im just chillen on my bed in my boxers, not wantin to get up ;)-E **

**Sounds fun.- B**

I couldn't think of anything else to say. I sat back and closed my eyes. Letting the hot water sooth my body and replenish my muscles. I must have dozed off because next thing I know, I'm awake. Sitting in cold water. With my phone saying 3 missed messages. I groan. The clock says 4pm. I can't believe I slept for another four hours! That's just brutal. I got out of the cold water wrapping a towel around me and getting clean pajamas to relax in. I then started reading the texts after I lay down on my bed on my stomach.

**Very nice-E**

**Bells, you there?-E**

**I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it awkward… just when u said u were in the tub…-E**

I quickly typed out a message back.

**Sorry, was so tired. Passed out in the tub. Just got up again. So fucking cold.. damn I cant believe I slept this long in the tub. – B**

**Ohh, that's alright bells-E**

I smiled at his nickname for quickly stopped smiling. I yawn and lye on my bed. Then asked, why was I even texting him? I had to stop. I had to get out. I couldn't stay in this house any longer. I quickly got up running around grabbing clothes and most importantly wrist warmers. Smashing against the bathroom wall in the process.

_**I called Angela while I was at it. Her and Alice were the only people I could trust. I had to tell them about my wrists. They were my only salvation. **_

"_**Hello?" Angelo answered after she let it ring for a while.  
"Angela..." I said outta breath.  
"Bella? What's wrong!?" she asked alarmed. I breathed deeply.  
"Nothing, just running around getting dressed. Call Alice. I'll meet you both at your place in a half hour. I need to talk to you two." And with that I hung up. Edward was driving me crazy with love and I couldn't hold it in. And in order to explain everything to them. Why I couldn't give him the time of day. I would have to tell them about my wrists. They'd have to know. **_

_**I grabbed all my stuff and ran out my bedroom door. Stopping to lock it on the way out. I ran down the stairs and out the front door before my parents could stop me. I got in my mustang and drove off towards Angela's house. It was a fair bit of a drive. Twenty minutes. But it gave me time to think about how I was going to tell them. Should I just take off the wrists warmers? No. No that would scare them. I'd have to hint at it first. And then tell them as I take them off. Ya, that would be how I would do it. Oh Jeeze, look at me now. I was having a conversation with myself. I turned the music on to relax myself as I got closer to Angela's. This could go two ways. And I didn't want it to go either way. They would either be sad for me or feel pitiful for me. Or totally hate me and not want to see me again... I didn't know which one would be the easier outcome. But they were both bound to end up badly. **_

_**I pulled into Angela's driveway slowly. Alice was already here. Great. No time to tell Angela and help me break it to Alice. Alice was always the drama queen… She was bound to make a big deal out of this. No doubt about it. I just had to brace myself. Get in there and do it. Who knows, they could just pretend like there not there, right? Oh who am I kidding? I'm totally dead. Everything changes today.. Better just get it over with. **_

_**I got out of my car. Locking it and running up to Angela's door. Before I could even knock Angela and Alice barreled out and hugged me. Knowing something was clearly wrong but the time it took for me to come inside.  
"Let's go inside. I got stuff to tell you guys" I said. They nodded and we all walked inside. We went upstairs to Angela's room; they both sat on her bed. But I walked around. I was nervous as hell.  
"Bella. Calm down. Were your best friends. We'll love you no matter what" Angelo offered. I nodded at her.  
"Do you know when people are upset? They do bad things? Things they regret but can't do anything about. Things people hate about them. But stuff they can't stop. Things that make them feel better in the moment, but the next day they hate themselves more than they ever did the day before. But the chain goes on. The reaction continues because the more they hate themselves, the more they do stupid things and it just keeps going. The domino effect. An effect they couldn't stop even if they tried on their own?" I rambled on. **_

_**They both looked confused for a second. But then Angelo figured it out. She was always smart. Her eyes shifted to my wrists. Where my wrist warmers were still safely in place. Alice was still thinking. Angelo looked upset, but she also looked full of compassion. Like the truly understood. Alice screamed and got up.  
"NO! No, BELLA! You don't! Do you!? Beeelllaaa" she drew out. I winced. She ran over to me and before I could stop her she was pulling off the wrist warmers. I closed my eyes as I felt the tears start to build. I could feel them seeping out of the cracks of my eyes. She pulled up my sleeves and gasped. They were bad. I knew they were. I'd just gotten use to them. I heard Angela's little gasp come from the bed. **_

"_**h-how long?" Angela gasped.  
"I don't know. Not long" I whispered. Alice hadn't said a word. She was still holding on to my hands, keeping my arms pulled out, open. Vulnerable.  
"But there are so many…" Angela trailed off. I still had my eyes closed. I knew there was a lot. I just nodded. Alice dropped my hands and then walked backwards sitting on the bed and then crumpling into a ball. She was crying hysterically and kept repeating  
"How, how, how, how" **_

_**Angela was now balling and I had collapsed to the floor, holding my arms close to my chest, letting tears fall from my face to the floor. Angelo got up and came over to me. Pulling me up off the ground and hugging me close.  
"You need to stop. This isn't good for you, Bella. But I understand. I understand why. A lot has gone on." She whispered.  
"Angela. I want to stop. But I don't think I can." I said in a sob.  
"Why did you finally decide to tell us?" she asked.  
"I knew you guys were my only help. You guys can try and help me stop" I explained.  
"Bella. I hate you. I hate you for doing that! Fuck Bella! HOW COULD YOU! Your mom has to know! Your mom needs to know!" Alice screamed before running out of the room. I screamed after her.  
"No! ALICE NO! Please!" I sobbed…**_

"AHH!" I jolt up off the floor. Screaming my lungs out. I finally stop and start breathing. It was a dream. Just a dream. I must have passed out when I hit the bathroom wall… it was just a bad dream. But that just proves that no one can know about my wrists. I got up off the floor. Walking into the bathroom to splash my face with some water. I walked back into my bedroom, grabbing my phone off the floor from where it must have landed. I opened it up. I had a text from Alice.

**Something is wrong. I know it. come over to Angela's in a half hour :) – A **

I sighed. I really couldn't do this, but I knew I'd have to. I couldn't just say no. but I could lie to them.

**Ill be there. – B **

I sat on my bed, putting my wrist warmers on carefully. I heard my mother scream. Startled I got up and crept to my door. Listening, I heard nothing. I hadn't heard my house this quiet in months… there was no sounds, no television, no radio. Not even my mom's sweet singing. Something was wrong. I opened the door quickly, dashing down the stairs and looking everywhere. When I run into the living room I stop dead in my tracks. No one could have braced me for what I saw. No one could have prepared me for the shock of seeing my mother in the arms of another man, which was not my father. With him lying on top of her pounding into her. I screamed running out of the house and to my car. Glad I had my keys with me. Starting the car and taking off quickly. There was only one place I could go. I needed serenity. I was going to Edwards abandoned resort….

**Well there's chapter four :) please read and review, I really wanna know what cha guys think :) **

**Kyla **


	5. Edwards Hideout

**New chapter at last! Sorry for the long wait, been so busy. I will try to find time to write the next one asap. Please review ! xoxo**

**Chapter 5: Edwards Hideout**

**EPOV**

I was lying on my own on a tanning chair in my secret hideout. I was at home and couldn't stop thinking about Bella, finally I decided I needed to get out of the house to distract myself from sitting there watching my phone waiting for a response. I couldn't take it anymore! I wasn't supposed to be weak and falling all over a girl. I was Edward Cullen for fuck sakes, and Edward Cullen doesn't fall for girls. Girls fall for him, he—why was I talking in third person? Anyways, point is. Girls fell for me, and then I fucked them, and told them I couldn't see them exclusively, because I didn't do relationships. It just was not my thing.

But Bella… this girl was driving me insane! I wanted her, and I didn't just want her the normal way I wanted girls. I didn't just want Bella for sex; I wanted her as a person. I wanted her to be mine. I didn't want any other guy out there to be able to get his hands on her. She seemed upset all the time and I wanted to know why, Laurent was such a dick and he was going to pay. No guy, especially not Laurent was ever going to hurt Bella again. I was going to make sure of this even if it took me everything I could give to keep him from hurting her.

I closed my eyes to relax. I didn't wanna think anymore. About anything, especially Bella. I just wanted to lie down and relax forever. I never wanted to have to get up and go home and I especially didn't want to have to go to school tomorrow.

**BPOV**

I walked towards the brick wall not wanting to think about the climb up and the climb down. I didn't have Edward with me to catch me this time, and that thought scared me. It didn't take me long to drive here, I was in a rush to get away from my mom and that man. I didn't even know who he was because I had never seen him around town at all. This was a very weird thing considering we lived in such a small town where everyone knew everyone else. You really couldn't hide much in such a small town, which made me wonder how long it would be until my dad found out. I in no freaking way was I going to tell him because it would ruin him. He loved me mom so much and he took her back after she left him once. Why could my mom not be happy with my dad? I didn't understand at all.

As I walked up to the brick wall I didn't hesitate to stop climbing because I feared if I did id chicken out and not climb the wall at all. But I really needed the serenity of Edwards little getaway, because I couldn't stop thinking about him. Maybe if I was here, I could think about him enough that it would wear me out and I wouldn't think of him anymore. Oh who am I kidding, I didn't think I'd ever be able to stop thinking about him. He had me so hypnotized I didn't think I ever wanted to go back to the way things were before. I didn't want him to ignore me again because just the thought of that made me hurt. I didn't want to go back to where I was all alone all the time. Except for my friends of course, but I was lonely without love. Sure I had Laurent, but then again I didn't think he ever really loved me. I was just there, meaningless to him. I was just some sex toy to him, that he could play with at any time.

As I reached the top of the wall I breathed deeply. Now it was time for the climb down and then I would be okay. I climbed halfway down the ladder and then jumped. Landing right on my feet nicely, surprised I didn't break anything on the jump down. I started walking towards the beach humming one of my favorite songs. When I was alone I use to sing all the time but I hadn't done it an awful lot lately. Everything had been piling down on me and I didn't know what to do anymore. Everything got so hectic so fast and I didn't know how to get it back in line.

As I neared the beach I could see someone sitting on one of the beach chairs. My first thought was to run the other way. Not wanting to see anyone. But then I wondered how they got in here. How they found this place at all. It was so far down the beach, no one ever came here. And it wasn't the nicest of days out. I wouldn't be out here at all if it hadn't been for what I saw back at the house… I had to forget about that. So I started walking towards the person. As I got almost to the person, he shot up off the chair turning and our eyes met. Creating sparks.

**EPOV**

As I was lying down relaxing I heard footsteps coming my way. I waited until I knew they were close and shot up turning around and having shock run through me at who I saw. Our eyes met, and I felt the sparks created between us making me not want to ever look away from her beautiful brown eyes. Bella Swan. The girl I came out here to get away from thinking about was standing before me with the wind blowing in her hair and her shocked look on her face. She looked absolutely stunning, so much so that all I wanted to do was barrel forward taking her into my arms and kissing those delicate lips of hers again.

Her mouth opened in a little o as she saw me. I just gave her one of my crooked grins.  
"Look here, you like my little hideout" I joked. She blushed and I walked forward towards her. Taking her in my arms. She relaxed into my instantly. I liked the way it felt, having her relax in my arms. Knowing I put her at peace when I know her life is anything but peaceful. I felt her breath deeply into me and I couldn't help but smile.  
"What are you doing here, Princess?" I asked.  
"My mom's cheating on my dad…" she said in almost a sob.

I hugged her tightly. I'd been with a lot of girls but the one thing I didn't do was cheat on people. Especially because of reasons like this. Girls didn't take kindly to that fact. But her mom cheating on her dad? That was something that would definitely hurt her, because of all the things we talked about in class—which wasn't much at all. She loved her dad with everything she had. Sure she didn't like talking to her parents anymore but she use to be very close with her dad. What she said so far, he seemed like a really good guy. Why would her mom cheat on him? Especially knowing how much it would hurt Bella.

I stood there holding Bella until her sobs turned into just tears and her tears turned in to just streaks on her face. I would have held her here all night. And it had been hours already as it is. But it was cold out and she was starting to shiver in my arms. I wrapped my arm around her waist and walked her to the ladder.  
"Go on, I'll meet you on the other side" I motioned to the ladder. She nodded and started climbing. I hated seeing her climb away from me, but I knew I'd meet up with her again on the other side. As I thought those words I instantly regretted them. She wasn't dying. I wouldn't ever let her die. I couldn't let her die when I felt so strongly for her… my bad boy façade was slowly falling down all around me, but I couldn't help it with this girl. I needed to be myself with her. Show her the real me.

I quickly climbed up after her, jumping down and as soon as I got down grabbing her hand. Holding it tightly in mine, needed to feel the contact with her. She didn't seem to mind. We started walking to where I parked my car. I realized we must have parked in different places if she hadn't of seen my car before she came to my getaway.  
"Where did you park?" I asked.  
"The other side of the beach… I needed the walk to clear my mind." She said quietly. I held her hand tighter in mine.  
"Why don't we go back to my house? I'll drive you to your car, I don't want you having to walk all alone" I suggested. She nodded and smiled up at me.

We got to my car and I opened the door for her, letting her get in, then walking around to the driver's side and getting in. She had been so quiet and it worried me. I didn't want to bring it up though, it was hard on her. I could tell. I started the car and turned the heat on because she was shivering like a Chihuahua. I could see her face relax as the car started to heat up and I drove towards the far parking lot. I wanted her to speak, to tell me what was going on in her mind, but I didn't want to push her. I didn't want her to run from me again. I didn't think I could handle that. We finally got to the parking lot, but she didn't move from her seat. Not that I wanted her too, but I was getting worried.

"Bells, I'm here to talk if you want to" I said in the sweetest voice I could. I knew she needed compassion right now. I didn't want to break her already fragile state.  
"I know, and I thank you for that. But I'm really not ready to speak…" she trailed off. I stayed quiet for what seemed like hours. Waiting for her to say something, anything at all to let me know she was going to be okay. I finally turned the car off and turned to face her completely, as awkward as that was in my car. I waited, and waited. Finally I heard a whisper coming from her lips.

"I just don't understand how she can be so unhappy with my dad again after all he's done for her…" she whispered too quietly I had to strain to hear her.  
"What has he done for her?" I asked politely.  
"My mom left him once, for some other guy, I was so young it didn't really click for me to know what was happening until she was gone. My dad… he was so heartbroken for so long. I had to learn to take care of myself because all he did was go to work, then come home and lie in bed… She left him for a guy half her age, that didn't even have a job. But I never got mad at her, because she was happy. Phil was his name… He treated her like complete shit and when she finally left his ass, she had nowhere to go so she came running back to my dad. He took her in like she never left, and has given her nothing but love…

"I just can't believe her sometimes. She's so selfish! My dad is always there for her! Always!" she screamed. I flinched at the anger in her voice. I'd never heard her so angry or loud. I loved that she totally opened up to me though. I unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her over so she was cradled in my lap. Tears were running down her face, and she was sniffling, but I had never seen her more beautiful. This was Bella Swan. Emotional, heartbroken, so lost in this world she has to hide herself. She wasn't someone who needed other peoples help, but she needed other peoples love… And I was willing to give her just what she needed…

**BPOV**

I opened up to Edward. I didn't know who else I could open up to at this point… my friends wouldn't know how to deal with it… My friends! I was supposed to be going over to Angela's. Shit I messed up big this time! I couldn't tell them I was with Edward because they would flip. I had to come up with an excuse they would believe and wouldn't get me in shit in the long run.  
"I was supposed to go to Angela's before I caught my mom… there going to be worried about me, so I should go." I said flatly. I didn't want to give away anymore of my weaknesses to him. He already had enough in his pocket to ruin my life in a heartbeat.

"That's okay. You sure you're okay to drive? I could drive you…" he trailed off.  
"No!" I immediately yelled. I regretted it instantly because the look on his face pained me. He looked so hurt. I began to apologize.  
"Its not that I wouldn't mind you driving me! They'd just ask me a million questions… and I'm in no mood to be answering any of those. I wouldn't mind if you drove me at all…" I started to ramble and a smile grew on his face.  
"Bells, it's okay. I understand. Let me walk you to your car" he got out of the car, coming to my side to open the door for me and helping me out. He wiped the tears that were still wet on my face away with his finger in the sweetest way. It almost had me swooning.

We slowly walked over to my car, and I pressed the automatic unlock and then stood there looking at him. After a few minutes I opted for a nod and then turned around to get in my car. As I sat in my seat to start the car he leaned his head in the doorway and kissed me gently on my cheek. I smiled and started the car. He backed up, closing the door for me and stood there watching me pull out. As I drove away I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a picture that made me want to cry. There, Edward Cullen was sitting with his head in his hands crouched up on the ground. For a second, I almost believed he was crying over me… then I realized how dumb that would be.

I drove quickly to Angela's, not wanting my friends to have to wait any longer. When I pulled in, they both came running out the door.  
"Bella! We thought you were dead! We've been waiting THREE HOURS!" Alice screamed.  
"We were so worried about you…" Angela said in her gentle voice. One I very much preferred over Alice's high pitch yelling.  
"I'm so sorry… my mom got talking to me and I didn't want to just leave on her…" I lied. Thankful that they both nodded, believing me. They both took one of my hands and we all walked inside.

We all sat in our regular seat in Angela's room, mine being on a supersized bean bag chair that I loved to relax into. We all stared at each other. Alice, of course, was the first to talk.  
"What has been up with you Bella? You aren't yourself lately…"  
"I've been really stressed with a lot of stuff, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I can't fathom sitting there with you guys when I'm not totally there." I lied.  
"We understand, but we're here to help you Bell… we're your best friends" Angela said gently, being her supportive self. I smiled at her, loving how she always tried to be gentle on everyone. Alice on the other hand… was not gentle at all.

"BELLA! How could you NOT come to us if something was stressing you out! We're great at helping with that shit!" she whined. I fought against the urge to roll my eyes.  
"Alice, it's not your guys' job to deal with my stress. I can deal with it myself…" I trailed off, looking out the window into the dark. I couldn't help but think how I just left Edward like that… I swear he was crying. I guess he could have had something in his eye, but it just seemed like he was so upset. I took out my phone to check for messages and realized how late it was getting.  
"I really have to get home and do some homework before school tomorrow, I'll see you both tomorrow?" I asked with a smile. They both nodded and Angela walked Alice and me out because they both agreed it was time to get home.

I got in my car and drove off, deciding to take a detour before I went home, wanting to be completely sure that my parents would be asleep when I got home. I didn't know where I was going, but I just drove. I drove away from my friends, and any memories that I didn't want to remember at this moment. I just drove and thought about all the good things…

**EPOV**

She drove away, looking so sad it left me heartbroken. I crouched down with my head in my hands and just sat there breathing deeply. I hated when people were sad, especially innocent people like Bella. I had always had a soft spot for certain things. People being hurt was one. Just like a puppy abandoned on the road, it just wasn't right. Once when I was a kid, I found a golden retriever puppy sitting, shivering on the sidewalk, in the dead of winter. I couldn't just leave it sitting there; I picked him up, put him in my jacket and ran all the way home. At the time I was only ten, but ever since then I had always been an animal person. I donated to animal societies, helped out at them for my community hours for school even. I just loved animals, as much as that made me girly, I didn't care.

Not that I would tell anyone of course… No one would believe tough guy Edward Cullen liked little animals. They expected me to hate them, and kick them around. When I saw people kicking animals, or pictures of animals that had been abused, it made me want to kick the owner right in the face. Bella was like a lost puppy. So sad, with those cute eyes and innocent soul, just waiting for some love. I wanted to give her the love I gave to all animals. She wasn't an animal, far from one, but she was in need of help. I couldn't leave her to do this on her own, but I couldn't let myself get attached…

I got in my car and drove off the opposite direction of her, heading towards the one place I wouldn't come across any of the ass holes from school. Forks Community Library.

**BPOV**

I ended up in the library parking lot. I couldn't understand why. The library was open 24/7 with a self checkout system, for the high school students who couldn't come until late at night. I always thought this was a great idea, especially now. I couldn't see any other cars in the parking lot, thanking the heavens because the last thing I wanted to do was run into some jerk from school. As I stepped out of my car it had started to rain, so I ran as fast as I could to the building to get under shelter. I slipped into the library going to the far back where there were comfy seats to curl up and read in.

Reading had always been one of my passions, ever since I was a little girl and my dad would read me a book before bed. I went to the fiction section, grabbing a random book and hopped it was good. I took off my shoes and put my feet under me as I curled up with the book in my hand. Focusing solely on the book so nothing else would stress me out.

**EPOV**

I headed right to the back of the library where no one went. On a one track mission to indulge in something other than my own mind. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the one person I was trying to avoid sitting curled up in a comfy chair, reading a book and twiddling her hair between her fingers. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to put a stop to all this!

"Why must you be everywhere!" my voiced boomed, making her nearly jump out of her skin. She gave me a shocked face and threw the book up in the air with a yelp.  
"I can't take this anymore Isabella! I can't get away from you and when I'm near you it makes me want to be sick! I don't want to see you again, so please. Do me a favor and when you see me just walk the opposite direction! That's what I'll be doing, because I sure as hell can't stand being around you anymore!" I finished out of breath, turned and took off back to the front doors. I heard her whisper my name in pain as I ran off, but I couldn't turn back. If I did I'd be in deeper then I could ever imagine. I couldn't do this to myself anymore. I had to face reality. I just wanted her for sex; my brain had been fooling me telling me I loved her. But who was I kidding, I didn't love anybody. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her petite little figure and leave her. Like I did with every other girl. End of story.

**Thanks for reading! Please review if you have the time! love feedback **** hope to get a new chapter up as soon as possible but with school back in the run, its so hard to find time to write! I will try hard though! **

**Kyla**


	6. Pain Is Everything

**I feel like crap that I haven't posted in forever, but life has once again got ahead of me and I just got back from vacation and have a lot going on in school right now. I only get 15 minutes to write every now and then so it's been hectic trying to even write this chapter, let alone check it over and make sure it's the way I want it to be. If there is any errors I profusely apologize, but I'm rushing and trying to get this out to everyone who has been waiting for a new chapter. Please leave reviews ! I really want some feedback, any suggestions or criticism I am totally open to! ENJOY :) **

**Chapter 6: Pain is Everything**

**BPOV**

I sat stunned and in tears, rage was starting to overtake my body. I couldn't even begin to believe what just happened. I threw my book to who knows where and watched open eyed as he screamed at me. I was only sitting here reading peacefully, trying to keep my mind away from him and he storms at me and blames me for being here—at the public library.

I wanted to yell back. Scream at him for hurting me when just a couple hours prior he was taking care of me! I wanted to ask what his problem was, and why me, but before I could say anything but his name in the faint voice I could manage. He took off running, away from me, my tear stricken face, and my broken heart.

**EPOV**

I got to my car and took off. Fuck I needed to smoke some weed. I needed to get her off my fucking mind! Why must she be everywhere, including my head. I stormed into the dark house, quiet with everyone sleeping, up to the third floor where my bedroom was located. I started opening and closing drawers, looking anywhere and everywhere for even a little bit of weed left. Luck wasn't on my side, because I came up empty and even more frustrated than before. I slammed my door shut, stripping down to just my underwear hopping into bed, hoping sleep would overtake me quickly.

I tossed and turned all night, finally giving up on sleep in total and showered and got dressed. I crept my way through the house and out the front door rushing to my Volvo. I stopped dead in my tracks as someone was standing beside my car. I stared into the dark, trying to make out the figure.  
"Edddiee, I was just about to call your cell!" the whiney voice of Jessica Stanly cut through the air. I felt repulsed. I had never liked her voice, but man was she a good fuck.  
"Jessica" I said in my smooth voice I only used to get in girls pants. "Come on and get in my car, we'll go find a nice spot" and with that she jumped and opened the door slamming it when she was in.

That girl was so easy I hardly even tried anymore. I grabbed the keys out of my pocket getting in and speeding off with Jessica's girly fingers playing with the button and zipper to free my very hard, very excited member for some damn good road head and a much needed hard pounding against the hood of my car on some back road.

**BPOV**

I ran up to the house door, not caring or worrying if anyone was up. It was already one in the morning and I just wanted to get to my bedroom and do something about the tense, built up feeling building stronger as the time passed. I rushed quietly through the house, not wanting to wake anybody up. I ran inside my room, slamming my door shut running to what I needed. Tears stained my face and my hands were shaking. My clothes were drenched from the rain, and my hair was a knotted wet mess. I started stripping out of all the clothes, putting on my comfiest track pants and tank top, having a hard time because of my shaking hands.

My whole body had started to shake and my crying was getting worse and worse. I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said. I couldn't deal with any more of this. Laurent, my mom and now Edward. I couldn't deal with this. I guess tomorrow would just be another one of those days where nothing would be okay.

Grabbing my only savior and slowly and steadily walking towards the bathroom. My vision was going into tunnel vision on my one track mission to hell. I started setting up the gauss and bandages, and sterilized the knife in a robotic manor. I sat down against the counter and stared at my arm. I shouldn't do this, it would only cause me grief the minute it was over, but I couldn't handle the building inside my head. It felt like it was going to explode if I didn't do something to stop it. Before I over thought about it, I grabbed the knife and tried to steady my hand over my left arm. I brought the knife down cutting one large cut across my forearm, then another, then another… I dropped the knife when I was done.

Tears were streaming down my face faster and harder than before as I watched the blood drip down my arms to my fingertips and onto the floor. I knew I needed to stop the blood soon before I lost too much so I routinely cleaned and bandaged the cuts. I got up off the floor, cleaning the floor of any blood and finding my sweater in the dark and my way to my bed. Landing face down on the bed, I passed out within seconds, but not before the face of Edward was burnt into my eyes as I remembered him crouched down with his head in his hand as I drove away from him earlier.

When I woke up I could feel the burn of the cut on my arm and someone rustling around my bedroom. I opened my eyes to see my mom walking around my room gathering all my dirty clothes.  
"Get out of my room" I said in the nastiest voice I could manage. The thought of her with that man repulsed me.  
"Don't you dare talk like that to me Isabella Marie Swan! I am your mother and you will treat me with respect!"  
"Why don't you treat dad with respect you selfish bitch! Maybe you should be fucking faithful! Or do you not know the meaning of that word! You're a cheating bitch! People like you make me want to spit in their face! You have no right to tell me to treat you with respect when you can't even do the same for anybody else!" I screamed getting up off my bed taking all my clothes from her arms and grabbing her hand yanking it hard and pulling her out of my room.  
"Let go of me! Bella!" she screamed but I yanked her out of my room and walked back in, slamming the door in her face and locking it.

I took a deep breath and collapsed to the floor. After breathing deeply a few times I remembered I had school today. I didn't know what time it was, or how I looked so I got up and started rushing around the room. I hopped in the shower being careful of the fresh cuts and hoped out as soon as I was done. I dressed in a long sleeve shirt and my wrist warmers and just a pair of jeans. Not even bothering about makeup because I knew my face would be ghost like as it was and I didn't have the time. I glanced at the clock and it said it was already ten minutes until the bell for school rung. I rushed out my door locking the door from the outside and ran through the house before my mom could confront me. I pressed on the gas to back up a little too hard and squealed the tires, but come on. It was a mustang so I didn't care.

I drove faster than I ever had before, not caring that the roads were wet and slippery, not caring if I got pulled over, not caring about anything. Today would be another fucking fabulous day, so why not start it with a little fun in my car. I pulled into the parking lot with two minutes to spare, making record time with eight minutes on a normal twenty minute drive. As I pulled in though, my speed was a little too fast and my back end spun and my whole car did a 360, then I turned hard and pulled into a parking space with a sharp hit on the break and breathed a deep breath. I had to say even I was impressed with my skills and as I got out of the car, anyone who was out still was staring at me wide eyed like I was a pig that had a litter of cows.

I tried to avoid all the looks because it wasn't something I enjoyed and I know I looked like death. I pretty much ran through the front entrance and down the hall to my class. Not wanting to have any issues with anyone. I walked into English and took a seat beside Jasper. We sat with each other in this class because we were good friends and we both had strengths to help each other out. I didn't feel like talking to him today, but he sure wanted to talk.  
"I saw that nice car maneuver outside before the bell. That was pretty impressive. Must come from being the police chiefs daughter." He laughed his southern drawl of a laugh, and I had to admit, if he wasn't with Alice and not a good friend, he would definitely be a good catch.

"Oh thanks, I was just running late" I croaked. Only then realizing I must have lost my voice when I was yelling at my mom this morning. Fuck that was the last thing I needed. I had work tonight and I really didn't need that. I took the last week off because I knew I needed a break after Laurent and I broke up, but I had to go back today. Lucky me, working at the small outfitters store located on the edge of town by all the trails and campsites. It was a pretty easy job, and it was better than waitressing, especially for me. I didn't have to worry about my klutziness getting in the way there.  
"You getting sick or something?" he asked sincerely, but I noticed the movement he made to move a little further away from me.

"No, I just…" I didn't even know what to say. I couldn't tell him about my mom; it wasn't right because we weren't really that close. Just kind of close.  
"Yeah I guess I am…" I finally whispered. Not really having any other choice.  
"Well I hope you get better! But that was the bell, so see ya later Bella!" he said kindly, rushing off to his next class. I walked slowly to art, just wanting to take a break from having stuff to do, and take time to wallow in my own pain. It was only starting second period and I felt like bursting into tears. I hadn't seen Edward once, but I knew as soon as I did, I wouldn't be able to hold it in any longer. I still don't know what I did to even deserve this kind of behavior towards me.

**EPOV**

I was hard and wanted to fuck her senseless. She had pulled in going at least 40mph, did a 360 and pulled into a parking spot perfectly. I had only ever seen that kind of stuff on television! But clumsy little Bella had managed to pull it off unharmed and then ran inside the school like nothing happened in the first place! I had been sitting in my car trying to get Jessica to leave me alone for five fucking minutes! She had been with me since four this morning when she was by my car as I went to leave. She gave me some fucking amazing road head, I fucked her senseless against the hood of my car, we went for a drive then we ended up here at school and she wouldn't leave me the fuck alone.

I had told her at least three times to get out of my car, but she refused to listen. Finally I was going to get out and just walk away, and then Bella pulled in with her little show and my hard dick was straining against my pants. So I figured I'd take advantage of clingy Jessica and we skipped first to fuck in a janitor's closet. She wasn't quiet, but I found duct tape in the closet and told her it turned me on to have her taped up, but really I couldn't stand her voice any longer. I turned her around and pounded into her to get the release my dick so very much needed from Bella's little stunt.

When we were finished I untapped her and told her to scram and get out of the closet so we wouldn't be stuck in there when the bell rang. The last thing I needed was some naggy old teacher lecturing me on sex. I used fucking protection. No way was I getting some slut from Forks High pregnant. She ran off with post sex hair, skirt all crumbled, shirt a little cricked and I couldn't help but laugh. Man I did a good job. I smiled and starting walking to biology class. The bell hadn't rung but my locker was by that class anyways and I didn't need to miss anymore class today. Mom was already going to throw a fit. Every time I missed a class she went on the same rant about how I couldn't go to an Ivy League school and become a doctor if I missed classes. I always laughed it off because I had a 98 average in school and I wasn't too concerned with getting into Ivy League schools.

I opened my locker, grabbing my textbook and notebook, realizing it needed to be organized and that I had ten minutes, I started organizing it so that I wouldn't have a nerd moment and have all my books fall out on me. Not that anyone would try and make fun of me, but it was pretty inconvenient. Just as I finished the bell rang and I didn't want to have to deal with anyone so I slammed my locker and started walking towards biology keeping my head up in the manner that no one would even come towards me. I saw in the distance Bella walking towards the art room, and even at the distance I could notice how pale she was. I looked away, not wanting to think about her at all. Doesn't matter if she was sick. Not my problem.

I sat down in biology at my empty desk. I liked to work alone because nobody did the work to my stands. I got almost or perfect on every assignment, having a very high average in this class which was good because I needed this type of stuff to become a doctor. Working with partners was just too much work, and you had to get together with them, and I just didn't like people in my business like that. I preferred to work on my own. The bell rang and the class carried on as usual. I knew most of everything in the class because my dad, Carlisle was the head surgeon and had been for years at the Seattle hospital and he wanted to teach me from a young age all the stuff to be a doctor.

As the bell rang, I couldn't want to get out of the place and go and smoke a cigarette. I needed one bad after sitting there listening to Mr. Banner ramble for an hour an hour cells went through metamorphism. People in that class were so damn stupid it made me want to scream… I rushed through the crowds of people almost running smack into Bella in the process as she had her head down, I was going to make sure she was okay, but I couldn't do that. I had to keep her off my mind. Fuck I needed a smoke…

**BPOV**

I saw him almost hit me, but I avoided him completely. I saw him pause but then rush off like I electrocuted him. The pain he caused me when he just walked away like I did exist made me start running for the bathrooms. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't stop them. I ran into the bathroom to the furthest stall, locking the door and collapsing onto the floor with my head in between my knees, books scattered around me and my hands shaking uncontrollably. I craved the feeling. I needed the pain. I needed the knife slicing through my skin. I couldn't take this. I had to get out. I got up drying my face and grabbing all my books. I shoved them all in my bag and went to unlock the stall door when I heard people coming in.

"Did you see the way Bella looks today? She looks like someone tortured her. I don't even understand why Laurent liked her in the first place. He was only dating her for the sex. And he was with me the whole time anyways. He used to come to my house at night after he left her place just because she wouldn't give it up. Such a faker. We all know she's a slut. She just refused to give it up to him, so I made sure he was fully satisfied" Laurens high pitch obnoxious voice pierced the silence of the bathroom.  
"I know! And now she thinks she can get her hands on Edward, I saw how he flinched away from her like she was poisonous. He's mine! I met him at his house this morning and we left for some hardcore sex on the hood of his car and then when we got to school we went to the janitor's closet…" Jessica's voice trailed off as they walked out of the bathroom.

The tears threatened to fall again but I refused to let them. I was not going to cry over Edward or Laurent again. They were the same type of guys. Who was I to ever think Edward was a good guy, or that I had a chance at all. He was a player and that's all he'd ever be. I should have known better. I shouldn't have ever even let him kiss me. He played nice, showed me his hideout, but that was all to get in my pants and I knew that now. Well too bad for him, he would never get in my pants.

Then I thought of him playing the piano, helping me out when I got hurt, and listening to me sing a song I wrote myself without judging me. He could be so kind, but I scratched the thought off right away. He was being that sweet guy to make me like him. Fall in love with him, he would use me for sex and we wouldn't talk again. It was how bad guys worked. He never wanted to be my friend, to comfort me. He never even wanted me to talk to him. He wanted me as another sex toy and that's all I'd ever be to him… I couldn't believe how gullible I was. I couldn't believe I had actually started to fall for Edward Cullen…

**EPOV**

I got back from my extended lunch and cursed at myself, not only was mom going to flip about first period, she would get mad about third period now too… I really needed to stop this because I couldn't afford her snooping around my room. If she found out about the weed I could kiss any sense of freedom goodbye… I rushed into the school as the bell rang for third period to end and I knew now I had chemistry with Bella. I silently wished there would be another empty seat, but that class was full and there was no way I was getting away from Bella in that class. I walked into the room and I was the first one in, I went over and took my seat taking the time to set up my book the way I liked it so I wouldn't have to tell Bella to move her shit when she got in here. I heard her walk in because she tripped and almost fell, cursing.

I chanced looking up, hoping she wasn't looking and for the first time today I noticed how much she looked like she was going to collapse in on herself any minute. She quickly walked to our table to avoid further embarrassment and kept her head down. I wanted to laugh at her clumsiness. She put her books down sitting down quickly and I could see out of the corner of my eye she was looking down, using her hair as a shield between us. I tried to pay attention as class started, but all I could do was stare at Bella. She was biting her lip and playing with a piece of her hair in a way that made me want to take her on the table right now. But she also looked like she was in a lot of pain, her eyes were sunken in, her face had no color to it. She had her arms close to herself, like she was hugging herself. Mr. Elgins was saying something about chemicals mixing at the front of the class but I couldn't focus if I used all my energy.

The class ended far quicker then I would have liked and she got up, dashing out. As much as I wanted to talk to her, I knew I couldn't. I was glad of her running out so quickly, because I couldn't be this close to her without thinking about all the things I wanted to do to her. I couldn't get enough of this girl, and I hated that! That's why I couldn't be around her anymore. The longer I stayed around her, the more I wanted to be and I couldn't have that. I didn't need that. Fuck I needed a damn smoke. I got up and walked out of the classroom towards the front doors to the parking lot where I parked my car. I wanted to get out of this hell hole for today. Go somewhere; do something that wouldn't involve me thinking about Bella. It seemed all I could do lately was think about that girl, and frankly it was driving me nuts.

I thought of going home to play the piano, but I knew Esme would be home and I didn't want to deal with anyone right now. So I finished my smoke and walked back into the school, against all the traffic of the kids running for the doors to get out for the night. I walked into Mrs. Burskey's office startling her but as soon as she saw it was me she put on that smile all woman had when I came around. She had to be in her fifties but every time I came around I could see a blush on her cheeks and I used this to my advantage. I had my own key for the music room but during school time I had to have her permission so the principal wouldn't get involved.  
"Can I use the music room" I mumbled. She gave me her old lady smile that told me I was being dumb for mumbling something I knew I didn't even really have to ask for.  
"Of course you can Edward, lock up when you're done please" she finished, lowering her head to get back to her papers. She was dismissing me, but I could see the flush in her cheeks still. I smirked and started walking down the little hall her room adjoined to and into the music room where there was an old, cheap piano.

It was nothing like my grand piano at home, but it did just fine when I couldn't be at home. When I needed the release that playing gave me, without the trouble of all my family. Emmett was a pain in my ass; my mom was always worrying about me. And dad… well he just wanted me to stop with all the "troublesome teenager acts". Sometimes I wanted to tell him to fuck himself, but I needed somewhere to live. I sat down and started playing, not even having to think about the notes, they just flowed from fingers. I closed my eyes and started playing some of my favorite pieces.

**BPOV**

I headed out to my car, feeling like I was going to be sick from being so close to Edward for such a long period of time. I could feel him staring at me all period, but I refused to acknowledge him. He wasn't worth my time. I needed to go to the store and get some food before work so I had to drive fast or I'd be late. I hoped in and off I went. I got to the local food mart but for some reason it was closed. I cursed because I really needed to eat before work. I hadn't eaten since yesterday sometime and the last thing I needed was to pass out at work. I knew there was another little store on the way to work, but it was creepy and never had any customers. I didn't really have a choice. I took off again, speeding a little but I didn't really mind. My dad would bail me out of it in some way.

I pulled into the little store and there were only two cars out front in the parking lot. I ran in grabbing some snacks to bring to work with me, paying with a smile and taking off again. As I walked out the door I ran into someone, I looked up apologizing quickly. It was a man with a scruffy face, and clothes that looked like he had been running through a forest in them. I smiled and went to talk past him. He grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him again.  
"Don't be in such a rush, let me at least get your name" he said in a voice that made me shiver. I didn't like it at all and he crept me out.  
"I'm sorry, but I'm really in a rush" and I went to take off again. He grabbed me harder pulling me against him.  
"Let—me—go" I struggled against his hands

"Stop struggling against me little girl!" he whispered harshly at me, his breath fanning over my face. It reeked of beer and cigarettes. I pulled harder and released my hand from his grip. I ran to my car getting in as fast as I could, started it and squealed the tired speeding out of the parking lot. I looked behind me in my mirrors and he was making a face that looked like this wouldn't be the last time I saw him. My heart was racing and I was scared for my life. Who was this guy and what did he want with me?

**Please read and review ! THANKS SO MUCH ! **

**Kyla :) **


	7. The Player

**Im baaccck. Its summer ! I have been writing every time I can to get some chapters ready for this moment. I have a few written and I am going to keep writing every chance I get even though things are still very busy for me. **

**Please remember that reviews mean everything to me and I will be sure to read them all and take everything you say into consideration because I love constructive criticism. **

**So this chapter has a few lemons, a bit more explanatory than some may like so if you don't like sexual acts do not read the flashback ! Hope you enjoy this! Don't forget to favourite and follow my story because there are lots more to come! I promise. My updates might not be as regular as some may like but I make my chapters fairly large so it's hard to update very often. I am thinking of shortening chapters to update more often, comment what you think. If you like the long chapters though, let me know !**

**Chapter 7: The Player**

**BPOV**

Work sucked, as usual. I sat at the counter by the cash register dealing with the very few number of customers that came in. I had too much time to myself to think and that's not something I wanted to do. I went up to Nancy and asked if I could do some homework at the counter, I had a ton and there weren't many customers tonight anyways. She didn't mind because she knew that we were expecting many people to come in and she knew I would stop what I was doing to help customers if they came in anyways.

I worked on my chemistry because I knew that if I didn't get it done Mr. Elgins would make us do some ridiculous partner project that had to be done in a short amount of time. I didn't want any reason to have to talk to Edward tomorrow. I don't think I could deal with it, I didn't have the energy in me to do so. I sat doing my homework for hours, moving on to other subjects and finally drawing in my sketchbook because there was nothing left to do. No other customers came in and when it was time to close I got it done in no time, said goodbye to Nancy and left in a rush to get home to my bed.

I started my mustang and drove home in a rush, I didn't want any tickets so I kept the speed to a number that wouldn't grow suspicion. It was Forks though, and cops didn't really hang around looking for speeders so I wasn't too worried but that was the last thing I needed tonight. I got home in record time and ran up to the door, unlocking it and locking it when I was inside. The house was quite, it was almost midnight and I realized how hungry I was. I knew my stock of food and drinks were dwindiling in my bedroom so I ran to the cupboards and grabbed some snacks and some water bottles. As I went to go up the stairs I heard someone at the top. I silently cursed because I really didn't want to deal with anybody.

"Is that you Bells?" I heard my dad's scruffy voice whisper. I had to admit I was glad it was him and not my mom, but I didn't really want to talk to him right now either.  
"Yeah dad, just got home from work." I whispered to him.  
"Got time to talk?" he asked in what seemed to be an upset voice. I hated saying no, but I really needed to sleep for school tomorrow. I didn't sleep well last night and if I didn't sleep I was going to look like even more of a zombie.  
"Uh, I should really sleep dad.. I have school in the morning. Can I take a rain check?" I asked as nicely as I could manage.  
"Uh…" he scratched as he balding head. I realized I hadn't seen or even talked to my parents much in the past two weeks other than the encounter I had with my mom this morning. "I guess that's okay Bells. Sleep tight" he said in his scruffy tired voice and scrambled off back to their bedroom. I wanted to spit.

That bedroom shouldn't be classified as theirs anymore. It should be my dad's. He should kick my mom's sorry ass out to the curb or she can go stay with that other man. He didn't deserve this; my dad was the best man I've ever met. He was kind and smart and he didn't put up with anything. I debated calling him back to talk. Just to tell him about mom, but it truly wasn't my secret to tell. My mom would have to come clean with it eventually and when that happened. I wanted front row seats. My dad was a very even headed man, until you make him very angry. I'd only seen him angry once, and that was when some kid tried to break into our house, and that wasn't a picture I liked to have in my head.

I snapped out of my daze and rushed off to my bedroom, arms still full of food and water. I dumped it all in the basket I had in the corner that was near empty and went to my bathroom. I jumped into the hot water after a long day, letting it wash away all the grease and grim that had accumulated in my hair and pores. Loving the feeling of the water pelting on my back. All too soon the water ran cold and I had to get out and hopped into my comfiest nightgown I owned. I knew they were unattractive and hung off my body in all the wrong ways, but for sleeping they were blissful. It's not like anyone saw me sleep anyways, I wasn't too worried about flattering the men in my dreams because I was always in sexy clothes, with done up hair and not one scar on my body. An image that was left for only my dreams.

I slipped under the covers, and waited for sleep to consume me. it was close to one in the morning now, and I couldn't wait to sleep. I dreaded having to wake up, but the sleep would bring the only time where I was truly happy. My brain had opposite needs tonight, on a nonstop track of memories and words. As much as I just wanted to pass out, I found myself awake for nearly an hour staring at the ceiling. I thought of the times when I was happy, when my parents weren't together, but they were both happy in their separate lives. When I could walk outside in a tank top and be fine with it because I accepted my body and the hardships that came with life. When did that stop? When did I start caring so much about what people thought? When did the hardships become so much I couldn't handle them?

I tried to answer my own questions, but finally blissful sleep started to overtake my mind. The memories got cloudy, the words came slower. I couldn't stay focused on the ceiling anymore because my eye lips kept drooping shut. I couldn't fight the exhaustion that was overtaking my body. I also couldn't help the images I saw right before I fell into unconsciousness. The images of Edward Cullen's beautiful face. The way he played piano for me. the way he was crouched down as I drove away from him, the way he yelled at me in the library, and the way he snuck a glance but avoiding me. I couldn't help but think of the way he looked at me that first day. I couldn't help but realize, as much as I hated Edward Cullen. I loved him even more.

**EPOV**

I lost track of time playing the notes that came to my mind. They flowed freely from my fingertips and I enjoyed the rush it gave me. The sun had set hours prior and I still sat playing song after song that I use to play when I was a kid up to now. I don't know how my fingers weren't sore; I don't know how my butt wasn't numb. All I could say was that this was part of who I was and that made this worth any pain that it could give me. I got bored of playing the songs I already knew eventually and I pulled out some paper and starting composing. I never had time to do this anymore because I never played at home. I use to compose songs all the time when I sat at my grand piano and my family would sit around and watch.

That was before I started to hate them. That was before my mom was home all the time, my dad started pressuring me to become a doctor instead of a musician and when Emmett became the football jock he was today and had people over a the house every chance he got. I never got time to sit at home and play anymore and that bugged me. I couldn't compose with noises and Emmett and his football friends were far from quiet. I tried to get my mother to get them to go somewhere else but she was so happy to have people to cook for she snuffed me off and told me that I could use the piano while they were watching the football game. I was on the football team the past two years, I played lots of sports, but I didn't get along with the guys on the team. They stayed out of my way because they knew I was good, and I stayed out of their hair and didn't try to join in after the games in the team events because I didn't get along with them. I had grunted and left that night. That was the first night that I used a girl for sex.

"_Hey Jess" I said smoothly into the phone. I needed her right now. I might seem like a dick but her pussy was waiting for me to pound it and I knew she wouldn't complain.  
"Eddiiieee! Are you coming over! I will meet you out front" she said in a purr. I hated that nickname, I hated Jessica's voice, the only this I actually liked about her was how easy she was. I put up with the nickname because I knew if I argued she wouldn't meet me out front anymore.  
"Yep, be there in five sexy" I said casually as I hopped into my car and drove off. _

_I got to her house in no time, it wasn't far away and there wasn't any cops out at this time because it was dinner time. In such a small town all the cops usually went home for dinner and headed back to their shift afterwards. I knew not to pull into the driveway because he parents didn't like it when she had people over, so parking just down the street and sending her a text was out usual routine. She was there in seconds. She was hardly dressed, a skirt that showed the bottom of her sexy ass cheeks and a strapless top that barely covered her nipples, let alone the rest of her tits. I licked my lips and I knew she saw it. she gave me the smile that means she wanted this just as much as me. _

"_Where do ya want to go Jess?"  
"Well I think having sex on the picnic benches at the park sounds fun…" she trailed off. I hit the gas and drove towards the only park in forks. It was a cold afternoon so I there weren't any kids running around, and there was no people taking walks. It was deserted. I got out of the car and by habit walk around to open the door for her. Sure she was one of the biggest sluts in Forks high, but I was raised to treat any women with respect since a young age, so now It came naturally. She always loved when I did that, she knew she was a slut herself, but every girl wants to be treated well by a gentleman, no matter how much they give up. _

_I didn't wait for her to strip. I got her to the table and hiked up the skirt over her hips. I knew she would be dripping for me because hell, look at me. I shoved my fingers deep into her and she cries out and arches her back. I smile. I love the noise of a woman's pleasure. I use my other hand to yank down her top to expose her bare breasts and capture one of her nipples in my mouth and pump my finger in and our of her as I suck hard on her nipple. I have her panting in seconds starting to clamp around my finger. I never had problems with bringing a girl to release, and I loved to do it. not for her, it made sex so much better afterwards because she would be sensitive. _

_I knew every little thing Jessica loved. We had dated before, kind of I guess. We classified it as dating but we never went out, we just fucked. A lot. I learned every little thing to do to her body to make her a quivering mess beneath me, and she knew how I liked my sex to make it as pleasurable for both of us. I felt her starting to clamp around my fingers and she was moving her hips in rhythm to my fingers thrusting deep inside of her.  
"GOD YES!" she screamed. she moaned over and over and started shaking. Her hands were turning white from gripping the side of the picnic table. I switched nipples and started biting at them and down and up to her collar bone. She was shaking and trying to hold back. She knew what I needed. She wasn't allowed to cum until I told her too, if she did before hand I refused to have sex with her. She was shaking more now pleading with me.  
"Edward plleassee! I need to, I cant hold out… UGH!" she screamed as she tried to hold it in. "Please Edward!" she screamed again.  
"not yet" I whisper in her ear. I feel her shake beneath me but feel her sharp jerky nod. _

_I knew I shouldn't do this to her, I shouldn't make her suffer like this. But I was just so angry I had to do something. Besides, she would get her pleasure in the end and it would be intense. I could feel her breathing slow. She was trying to hold her breath to play it out. I take my finger totally out of her and stop kissing her. She cried out.  
"Edddiee! I'm so close! PLEASE DON'T STOP! I haven't came yet, just like you ask. Im holding it out. just PLEASE. DON'T. STOP." She begs me. I love to hear her beg. I kiss her mouth and all of a sudden thrust my finger deep inside of her again.  
"CUM" I growl. I trust my finger deep again and again, feeling her start to clamp down on my fingers. She screamed out her release as she falls back against the table with her back arched and her mouth open. Her face is red, and her body has a layer of sweat coating it. I barely let her calm down before I have a condom on and have my erect member shoved deep inside of her. _

_I hear her sigh and then moan. I start to move fast. I didn't want to be out all night and I wanted my release fast. She knew not to touch me, she wasn't allowed to touch any part of my body unless I told her too. She did good, lying back against the table screaming as I pounded into her. Her hands fumbled for something to grab, setteling with the sides of the picnic table again. Sweat started to form on my forehead but I pushed in faster and faster as she moved her hips to meet with mine. I grab her hips for leverage and push in a few last times before exploding my release with a grunt. She moans as I feel her clamp down against me again, coming fast and hard again with me. I pulled out, took off the condom and through it in the nearby trash. She was still lying down on the table, skirt and shirt bunched together on her stomach._

"_Come on, I got to get home, fix yourself and lets go" I say, still a little out of breath.  
"Oh god Eddie, that was soooo good, I can't wait till next time" she purrs in my ear as she fixes her garments. I chose not to say anything. I never guarantee there will be a next time, but there probably will be. It's such a great way to relieve built up stress and frustration, and she knew exactly what to do to make sure I get off hard and strong. Perks of fucking a slut, she knew that guys didn't care for them, they just wanted release. I felt bad for her sometimes, having such low self respect. But thinking about it, I didn't care. She gave me exactly what I needed, and I made sure she was satisfied at the same time, I couldn't say much for all the other guys. I doubted they ever gave her release when they used her body, but it's her own problem when she wasn't with me. We got in my car and I drove her home, on the way home I couldn't wait to play my piano. Hoping Emmett's football goofs were gone home…_

I should leave. It was late and I knew my mom would be worried. I cleaned up my mess in the music room, packed the couple new songs I had started to write into my bag and locked the door on my way out. The school seemed so weird when nobody else was here. It was quiet and only the emergency lights were on, and my footsteps echoed down the hallways of the school. I got to the exit quickly. It was different than during school time where you had to push and shove and avoid everyone to get out the doors. I liked this better, being here alone with no worries. I walked to my Volvo, shoving everything in the back and getting out of the rain as quick as possible. The only thing I didn't like about this town was that it rained all the time, a little rain was fine, but when you were constantly a soaked rat it could get a little frustrating.

I got home and was thankful when the house was quiet. I could hear Esme and Carlisle upstairs talking in his study and Emmett's car wasn't in the driveway so thankfully he wasn't home. I put my bag down and went right to the grand piano that sat in the corner of the large living room on the main floor. I started replaying the songs I had composed at the school. The notes flowed through my fingers like they were songs I'd played plenty of times before. They sounded much better coming from my grand piano than the cheap one at school. I loved the sound. It wasn't long before Carlisle and Esme were downstairs on the couch listening. I hadn't played at home in a while; mom even asked me the other day if I had stopped playing all together. I could see them smiling out of the corner of my eye, I knew they thought I was getting into bad stuff, but there wasn't anything to do. I think they thought this would solve all the issues I had.

I stopped after I played for a while and just sat staring at the keys.  
"Edward honey, did you write that?" my mom asked as she rubbed my back.  
"Yeah" I mumbled, not wanting to talk about it.  
"It's truly a work of art son, I am proud of your musical talents" my dad said. I wanted to laugh; he didn't care if I loved music. He wanted me to be a doctor like him, but I didn't know if I wanted to do that. I loved music; music was my passion.  
"Yeah, just song stupid song thought" I said as I pushed the bench backwards. I gathered my things and stormed off towards the stairs.  
"Edward! Please, play some more for me!" I heard my mom yell with an exasperated sigh. I turned around and smiled at her and ignored my father all together. I slowly walked up to the third floor, getting to my bedroom and locking the door behind me.

I stripped down to my underwear and got into bed loving the cool sheets. I tossed and turned for a couple hours, but eventually sleep overtook my. I didn't wake up once through the night, I enjoyed the deep sleep but I couldn't help but have the images of Bella Swan pass through my head right before I slipped into unconsciousness.

**Don't forget to review and favourite for me ! Love you all ! –Kyla**


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